THE ALLEGORY OF CHANGE, AND ...
OF LIFE, OF RESPONSIBILITY, AND OF ACHIEVING HAPPINESS
5/14/11 Version
REPLACED
_______________________________________
Is this just another "so what?" bit of philosophical nonsense, or the essence of something you oughta follow? We'll take this into its meaning and application. (Just read the allegory lightly for the general idea, as we'll emphasize each important part later.)
THE ALLEGORY OF CHANGE
[The Allegory For Life?]
1. [No awareness, no responsibility]
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost.......I am helpless
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
2. [Awareness, notice recurrence, still do it]
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place, but,
It isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
3. [Eyes open, my responsibility, act]
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in..........it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
4. [I simply take action]
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
5. [I take smarter action]
I walk down another street.
Portia Nelson
Bracketed items are not hers
NOTE THE 5 STAGES OF AWARENESS, RESPONSIBILITY, AND ACTION
1. No awareness, not my fault
2. Aware, ignore, not my fault
3. Eyes open, my fault
4. I simply take action
5. I take smarter action
MAKING SENSE OF THIS
Why is this seemingly silly little tale so meaningful? Mainly because we engage in this actually silly behavior - but some people never get to the next level, often stopping at #2. They notice something but don't change anything. They are still the same victim of it.
This not only suggests the law of cause and effect, but also it mirrors what we insert, with no logic at all - but then we don't question the poor logic and poor knowledge, which itself is a hole we keep falling into.
#1 NO AWARENESS + NONSENSICAL STRATEGY
In #1, we are "not looking". All the great philosophers, etc., suggest that it is a good idea to be using our sight (physical and intellectual); it is often called mindfulness (or awareness), but it sounds too difficult, so we don't do it [bad idea!].
We have a problem, but we don't identify the problem. We go instead to the conversation of a scared child [bad idea!]. We do useless strategies: Go into the pit of "I am lost, I am helpless", which is total nonsense [So, duh, we need to identify where it does not make sense and insert what does make sense, but many people don't bother.] Then, as a person who is helpless would say, "it isn't my fault", as we are looking to displace all blame, since we think that will prevent us from being rejected by our hypothetical-in-our-mind parents [how dumb is that?, but we do it over and over, most of our lives. What a waste![.
And, yes, it takes a long time to get out of a hole [which we could have avoided if we were "looking", aka aware].
The truth is 1) we simply have a problem and 2) we need to figure a way out of it and 3) do something to make happen. [This is called a "breakdown", where we must identify "what is so" and what to do, where we also ask "what do we want", which is obvious here, of course. So, we, of course, would use "problem solving", one of which is Breakdown/Breakthrough process.]
#2. AWARENESS + BAD STRATEGY
In #2, we use the strategy of "pretending", which we nonsensically believe will get us out of the ill effects - kind of like an ostrich with its head in the ground, but more like having one's head up one's ..... In life, we pretendas a strategy where we believe we will avoid danger [nonsensically, illogically] and somehow everything will be ok - kinda like let's not bother to fix our problem, which many people practice. Related to this is a version of pretending called "hiding" who we are (aka inauthenticity) or our mistakes, because we [nonsensically] believe this will protect us from something we think is real: that we are screwed if other people see how stupid or bumbling we are [incredibly dumb belief!]. In this case, we're still stuck in falling into the hole of dependency on other people's opinions [bad idea!].
#3. "HABIT" RULES, BUT...THE DAWNING OF RESPONSIBILITY
Many people mistake "habits" for some mysterious and powerful force that runs their lives - and that they are simply screwed, as that is the way it will be for the rest of their lives. That they "can do nothing about it", or at least choose that strategy, is at the least "erroneous" [actually very stupid!]. Of course, this is the height of irresponsibility (helplessness), where we preclude our ability to respond (act and create an effect) [really, really, really stupid].
Habits are simply actions we have repeated so often that they become automatic, and effortless. The automatic and effortless part is very good, very handy, and makes life alot easier, as we don't have to spend so much effort deciding every little thing we do each moment - it "just happens", effortlessly and automatically - what a deal!
The wisdom is in the knowledge of how habits come about and then concluding that we can use the same process for our benefit [that's a good idea!]. They came about from repetition, so if we want a new habit we must simply repeat the action until it is learned - and we must do it as if a child learning to walk, falling down, then getting up - for we will surely be unskillful, meaning we will fail sometimes, at first - but we must never give up along the way toward a worthy goal, for we will get there in time, with sufficient effort. Sorry, no miracles are available to replace this reality - even The Secret.
Once one "gets" this concept, then one will never again say "I can't help it, the exercise equipment just collects dust...and that's the way it is, permanently, forever". Of course, one would never say that whole thought outloud, but I often hear a similar core statement implying that habit rules and that is what will continue. You can tell who believes this (by the Law Of Cause And Effect) because they show the results that fit the philosophy: they are either fat [oops, sorry, I mean 'overweight'] or unhappy [or far less happy than they could be], falling in the same holes over and over.
All of life is a conversation, occurring solely in our minds, and a set of "pictures" visualized in our minds - with no reality to it. Yes, we experience "feelings" in the body as a result of the mind creations (called "constructs"), but we have control over the mind creations (since we do, in the first place, create them! Duh!) - so, therefore, we can determine our feelings by doing what causes the desirable feelings (Duh!)!
[We can't control the body sensations that the body creates itself as a part of managing itself, though we can control the thoughts that cause a body reaction to which the body then responds. The latter puts us in charge of most of the body sensations we experience [a feeling is nothing more than a body sensation, which we often evaluate, giving it a "value" that is positive or negative - that's called a "valence"].
#3. PART DEUX. THE DAWNING OF RESPONSIBILITY (Duh!)
At some point, for the adult wise person, it dawns on us that nobody else and nothing else will do it for us. Certainly sometimes luck happens and people do what we want, but it is totally nonsensical to put one's life at the mercy of things outside of our control [how stupid would that be! Oops, sorry, many people do do that. They're not "bad" for doing it, just unaware - unaware that that is one of the key strategies that creates unhappiness - therefore, I would suggest stopping it! (Duh!).
Realizing that we must do something if we are to get what we want, rather than being rescued or something/someone else doing it for us, is lesson #1 in life - though many seemed to have been missing from the classroom during that learning session.
Lesson #1. We must cause what we want if we are to get what we want - there is no other reliable source.
How do we get this into reality? We practice the pieces that comprise it and we stop doing the pieces that are deleterious (duh!).
But, you say, this is so hard and so indefinite! Bullbleep. Oops, sorry, I mean this is a nonsensical, untrue belief. It is "doable" since it is comprised of pieces that are all doable, i.e. actions we are capable of doing. We just need to do them, knowing that the result is worthwhile and something of immense value (happiness) - or, at least, getting more of what we want and less of what we don't want.
Lesson #2. Do something toward what we want --> Get more of what we want
Law: Effective do's (actions) ↑ → Getting what we want ↑
Law: Harmful or ineffective action ↓ → Time for effective do's ↑ → w
Sublaw: Time for effective do's ↑ → Do → Getting what we want ↑
Law: Learning what works and doesn't work → Apply effort more effectively
Apply effort more effectively → Get more of what want with less effort
Get more of what we want with less effort → Extra time to get more...
Oops, sorry, I got carried away and dumped a whole bunch more into this. Please forgive, but do spend the extra effort to understand and implement the above.
So, the lesson in the allegory is "forget all the crap talk and just do something to get out of the hole, because that is the most effective choice." I would, however, correct the statement "it is my fault" to read "it is my responsibility". The "fault" implies "bad" or "wrong", whereas the "responsibility" is "I must respond or I won't get what I want, so I will act, because I have the ability". The latter seems so simple, but few seem to have "gotten" it, as they still believe the myth that responsibility means "burden" (i.e. something "bad:), but responsibility is a totally neutral term, meaning "if I want the result, I must choose to do what will get the result, and I will put forth the effort to do so if I deem it to be worthwhile and productive enough". [Note that if you take that statement, or similar ones, and apply the affirmation process, this would be a Level III affirmation (highly effective). See Levels Of Affirmation.]
Lesson #3. I am responsible for all of what is in my life.
"Sh-- happens", as Forrest Gump said, but Werner Erhard added "so what?" and then added "now what?" - which is the basis for the exercise of and the thinking of responsibility. It is totally nonsensical to resist "Sh--" or to say "it shouldn't happen" - the fact is "it does happen" (or "it has happened" and now I get to deal with it and do my best, as I might as well, for there is no better alternative).
Lesson #4. I choose to use my ability to act toward that which I want. There is no other good alternative choice.
The decision to be responsible for the rest of your life is essential, key, powerful, and life determining. (Duh!) But notice also that there is no other good alternative to choose from. It is not that there is no choice at all for there are other alternatives, but none works - so I recommend choosing the one that works.
Lesson #5. Don't do those things that are the opposite of responsibility, or you will, according to the physical law, deteriorate your exercise of responsibility and therefore get less of what you want.
Many people tend to think some of what I will list to be relatively unimportant to heed and/or they have a trite understanding of it. But there is an ironclad cause-effect relationship here - it is a law of cause and effect.
A key part of achieving more of what we want is not filling our time [i.e. keeping it available] at all with reducers of responsibility and, indeed, not to engage in them at all. Although the items below may sound trite, as you've heard them so many times, it is vital that you understant the mechanism that caused the effect of diminishing responsibility and thus diminishing one's life.
Consider never doing these, again:
Blaming (which is related to anger, resentment, etc., totally fallacious behaviors)
Excuses (a form of blame, but on "out there")
Complaining (a useless, harmful practice; only do problem solving)
Gossiping (related to the idiotic thinking of the two above)
Telling justifying stories
Breaking your promises
Pretending, hiding, being "unaccountable"
Letting any beliefs that produce bad results continue without correction and
installing of new true beliefs.
The destroyers are all based on "I'm not responsible" and, correspondly, "something/someone else is responsible". The subtle form of this is "I'm bad for not being responsible" or "I'm to blame", as if there is some mysterious "other" in your brain; you are you, you are not something outside of you that is commenting on something inside of you - that is logically impossible [and it is dumb to believe otherwise, such as talking to your "inner child", in a way that is other than using it as an acknowledged metaphorical way to engage in a conversation, bringing out what you are saying to yourself]. [Oops, the logical people will point out that I am creating another self in the last statement. In truth it is just a bunch of chemicals and electrical impulses occurring in pre-determined patterns happening in the brain. But it is true that you are not your brain, that you only have a brain. The "I" that is the real you is "the higher brain."]
This discussion leads us to:
Lesson # 6. There is only one "I". There are no other "me's" and I am not that which I have (beliefs, things, traits, etc.). Everything is up to me: "if it is to be, it is up to me!"
[I prefer, in my nonsensical wishful-thinking times, to add: "And it is to do, it's up to you!" But I noticed that that doesn't work, so I gave it up, choosing to just focus on what will work.]
Lesson #7. There is no legitimate reason to be unhappy. There is already
"more than enough" and there is nothing to fear.
"But...but...but...surely there is alot to fear...!!!" Well, it is true that we would prefer to keep on experiencing this life - and fear was evolved as a mechanism that had us survive longer - but there is nothing to fear, in truth. 'Tis an illusion, as there is only a useful signal that we can consider, with no need to perpetuate it. Indeed, there is no need to fear death. (Read Death. [Let me know of any good alternative, though])
This takes a bit of learning, which is priceless, and the subject of many key wise philosophical giants.
The conclusion on responsibility is:
There is no way out, if one wants happiness, of always owning "responsibility" as THE way of your life. I repeat no way IF you are to achieve happiness. NO WAY OUT! [Get the point?]
#4. I SIMPLY TAKE ACTION.
This indeed is simply implementing responsibility. Our lives are produced by our actions and we can choose our actions and then act. They are not run by our feelings [emotions]. Read Live A Life Dictated By Feelings...Or Not? [Actually the other choice is simply to create our lives by our behaviors, which will then create more of the feelings we want - not vice versa!]
Notice that there is no wasted effort on judging, complaining, blaming, etc. Just the decision to act and then acting and then getting the desired result (even though we started out with an undesired result, noticing that we could do something forward given the result, with no resistance to the undesired result being what is so).
#5. I TAKE SMARTER ACTION (for greater effectiveness)
Although it is "good" if you get to #4, I would love to see you operate at a #5 level. In this level you figure out how to get rid of the potential problem in the first place, essentially deciding what is less effort to get what you want. This is a key part of this site: for you to see what produces the greatest desired effects for the least amount of effort, thereby freeing up more time and energy to produce even more desired effects, so that you have even more of what you truly want (of true value) - and you cup is not only full but running over.
WHY DID I WRITE THIS PIECE?
In an effort to wake you up to achieving an effectiveness that you cannot realize (experience) without having this foundational way of being. [aka, I'm trying to get you to get your butt in gear, to waste no more time, to get to creating that life which you will truly love, now, not later!!!]
Because there is less to gain by going into the other concepts and practices if you do not "get" the underlying key most-effective essential piece. Without responsibility as a chosen way of being, you will not "take the responsibility" [i.e. "do what is necessary"] to learn, understand and implement what will make your life be full of happiness, richness, satisfaction.
I pray [figure of speech] that you will heed this and that you will actually go on the path to achieving happiness, getting "there" and then adding more and more and more, until you are so full of it that your cup runneth over with happiness, spilling over onto others so that they relieve more of their suffering and achieve more happiness and live better lives.
With total sincerity,
The BuddhaKahuna
His Wholly Irreverence
Of The Church Of Ultimate Truth
"When it comes to wisdom, he is really full of it"
(I have used this sign off name of this wise one as I have "channelled" [actually reflected his wisdom] this guide to you.)
MY CHECK-UP ON LIVING MY LIFE AT A HIGH LEVEL
5/14/11 draft
Date: ________
Tickle to do this every month until it is done pretty perfectly, then quarterly or yearly. ___ I have done this.
I am doing the actions below:
___ Blaming (which is related to anger, resentment, etc., totally fallacious behaviors)
___ Excuses (a form of blame, but on "out there")
___ Complaining (a useless, harmful practice; only do problem solving)
___ Gossiping (related to the idiotic thinking of the two above)
___ Telling justifying stories
___ Breaking your promises
___ Pretending, hiding, being "unaccountable"
___ Letting any beliefs that produce bad results continue without correction and
installing of new true beliefs.
____ I am committed to not doing these, ever.
According to the law of cause and effect, I must not be doing what's right if I check the following to be true:
___ I am overweight, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or low energy
___ I am stressed
___ I am unhappy or not as happy as I can be
___ I need to study and learn more of what works in life.
___ I have implemented and am installing, vigorously, "responsibility as a way of
being", using the responsibility declarations and affirmations (the complete ones,
not the "quickies", so that I experience deep understanding and completeness)
___ In terms of taking and owning responsibility and operating from it as a way of being, I am at:
____ Being a victim, depending on others and believing I am of low power
____ Being kinda in charge of my life, still getting some bad results
____ Being fairly responsible, doing fairly well
____ Being responsible at a level I feel good about
____ Being responsible totally, and creating the results I want
___ Slim, healthy ___ Non-stressed ___ Very happy
LINK INTO SPECIFIC PIECES: I haven't linked these yet so you'll have to enter them in the search engine if you want to further explore one.
