Contents of this page:
Insert: "The workable and the unworkable ways of changing a mood"
What is a mood, really?
Four modes of "moods"
What motivates us
The skill and the intelligence
The physical process affects the mental processes
The mental process can alleviate or exacerbate
The primary positive moves
One Can Choose One's Moods. Here's How.
How Does One Manage His/Her Emotions?
Mood Management - Means to "upping" one's mood
Suffering And Struggle - It's unnecessary and we need to undo the
mechanism.
Overall Pieces On Emotional Management
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A mood is not some mysterious entity that befalls you and then governs you - it is simply a biomechanical reaction that can be changed by a biomechanical action (see below). You need not coddle it or give it undue powers or purpose, as it is not a "command" to feel bad or to feel low energy.
Yes, you are to pay attention to body signals, but if there is no specific to address at the moment, then cure the mood right away, physically and quickly. If there is something possibly to address, write it down for later, as a person n a mood doesn't think very well at the time - cure the mood, then, when in "homeostasis", address the issue if you so choose.
Be a master at managing moods and your life will be dramatically improved!
THE "WORKABLE" AND THE "UNWORKABLE" WAYS
"Nothing occurs without a cause. Nothing 'just happens' for no reason."
"The mood just came upon me out of nowhere." Not true!!!! There is no genie arbitrarily deciding to give you a mood!!
Unworkable:
Using substances that cause long term harm
Using behaviors that cause long term harm
Workable:
Setting absolute rules and defining what works!
Specify what does not work, set strict rules not to do it.
Correct the underlying condition, via
Upping energy level and endorphins (exercise)
Breathing deeply and slowly to calm the upset organs
Getting rest, deep relaxation
Ingesting a combination of positive foods
Drinking water!
And, optionally
Adjusting the way of "thinking" that caused the mood
Body out of whack, creating upset in the mind (homeostasis) and
"bad feeling" chemicals
Correcting the underlying thought(s)/belief(s) that caused the
chemicals that feel bad and keep up the "bad" mood.
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WHAT IS A MOOD, REALLY?
DICTIONARY: "A particular state of mind or feeling."
Note the term "feeling". If one studies "feeling" as a topic, one sees that it is a physical condition, of which we have an opinion of it being good or bad. largely depending on whether it is comfortable or uncomfortable.
A mood has a physical element that relates strongly to a state of mind and a way of thinking that often creates that state of mind.
FOUR MODES OF "MOODS"
As in Robert Thayer's, The Origin Of Everyday Moods, there are the following four states based on two dimensions of arousal (tiredness and tenseness):
Tense-tiredness - Which begets negative thinking that often exacerbates it
Calm-tiredness - The body wants to alleviate the latter
Tense-energy - The body wants to alleviate the first one at some point, though this is preferable to tense-tiredness
Calm-energy - The state we all want to attain and maintain on an on-going basis
WHAT MOTIVATES US
We simply want to achieve a "good-feeling" state, of which the best is calmness with good energy.
The next "not so bad" states are calm-tiredness (where we feel calm though we'd rather not be tired) and tense-energy (where we don't prefer the tension, but we like the energy).
The very worst is tense-tiredness, where the body is so far out of whack that it seems to be an emergency at some levels that we need to alleviate. Our behaviors at this level seem to be very counterproductive and the world looks bleak.
Addictions are merely poor ways of alleviating anything that doesn't feel good, but in a way that is harmful and to which one becomes "hooked".
THE SKILL AND THE INTELLIGENCE
The skill lies in alleviating the undesired state in a constructive way that works best in total for the short term and for the long term (or, a poor second alternative, at least with the least damage).
The intelligence lies in engaging in the process of using the higher brain to formulate decisions, commitments, and strategies (including rules).
THE PHYSICAL PROCESS AFFECTS THE MENTAL PROCESSES
The physical part of this seems obvious. We don't like to feel tired and we do want to feel energetic (dopamine, norepinephrine chemicals in our blood stream). We don't like to feel tense (anxious, too ready for battle, hyper alarmed; cortisol, etc.) and we do want to feel calm and in balance, peaceful, centered, grounded.
This whole site centers on ways to get to those good states and away from the not-good states in both the short and long term - and to develop an enduring, unconditional happiness state under it all.
One of the challenges lies in what the primitive brain reverts to when in a tired or tense state: it seeks solution and goes into a bit of a state of overalarm spewing out all sorts of records that it has that remotely match the situation, almost all of which are attached to a negative emotion. In other words, bad physical feeling causes alot of bad thoughts. Also, it tends to cause the shut down of the higher thinking functions, so that one is also in a lower thinking condition.
When one wakes up in the morning, one is usually in a low energy state, so one can be susceptible to negative thinking (which we need to disregard and not believe). One must change the physical energy level as soon as possible, via movement, which will be sufficient, and then further through water and food.
Bad thoughts and poor thinking usually leads to more bad thoughts and more bad thinking in a chaining of thoughts one upon the other - and so we go into a downward cycling - unless we are wise and have developed the ability to see that the thoughts are just "yammering of the primitive brain" and mean nothing and have learned that we can stand the temporary inconvenience and have the ability to turn it around.
THE MENTAL PROCESS CAN ALLEVIATE OR EXACERBATE
What the Buddha says is true: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
In this case, this means that most of our suffering is from ourselves exacerbating the situation by thinking "this shouldn't be!" and "woe is me". If we instead saw this mood thing as a very human process (evolved for good reason) and a temporary blip that is just part of life, we would find the pain to be no big deal and the solution to be relatively quickly achieved. The latter is the highly recommended practice of Acceptance Of Reality.
The use of practiced and learned "coping statements" to comfort, assure, and ground ourselves can provide actual chemical offsets to bad moods, and a quicker resolution of the undesired state. This is the opposite of fear, as it is fear that generates all of the negative statements from the primitive recordings that the brain largely operates on if we don't use the higher brain to intervene.
However, having said this, the positive mental process may not be enough to alleviate the physical state plus we may not be able harness our mental faculties that well in negative arousal states (remember the higher brain functioning is impaired). This said, we can, however, have enough imprinted in our brain ahead of time to act constructively, often using rules and realizations that we have set up ahead of time.
Those rules and realizations will have to include a physical component, as physical does affect physical. And as we come into a higher physical state, our frame of mind tends to rise also (correlating just as they did on the down state).
One cautionary statement must be made here: Even if we have good physical strategies, poor habits of thinking (i.e. fear thinking) will act to generate chemicals that will inevitably tend to pull our physical state down.
THE PRIMARY POSITIVE MOVES
It is easiest to use a physical strategy to correct the physical moods of tense or tired (low energy).
You must realize what works and put it firmly into your mind to use it, with the knowledge that it will produce benefits out the other end.
The remarkable thing is that we can break moods rather quickly instead of miserating in them for the normally long, self-perpetuating cycles we get into.
Numero uno is to do 5 minutes of a walk or some not too hard physical movement. It changes your energy, which facilitates a rise in mood, and it tends to have some relaxing effect.
Direct relaxation helps, either of the mind (meditation and/or coping statements that are aimed at relaxing the tension and reassuring one) or the body, or both.
The body mechanism is simple: consciously relaxing parts of the body, physically tensing and letting go of the muscles (guaranteed to work well), and breathing. The latter are all skills everybody should be an expert in, regardless.
And, then, there's food (and lots of water!), but used in a constructive way. Sugar and refined flours (which become sugar quickly) shoot one through the ceiling with a huge energy drop later. Maintaining one's sugar level at a stable level is the key to excellent energy, using food combinations that give lasting, gradual energy. Mostly forget coffee and alcohol. See Rx For Stress.
If you have bad moods, you need to employ these offsetting strategies often and be quite expert at them - and you'll find, together with the beliefs changing process, that you'll cure the ongoing bad moods and replace them with good moods (especially if you add the skill of excellent internal conversations).
ONE CAN "CHOOSE" ONE'S MOODS. HERE'S HOW..
While we've heard many a time such things as "just choose to be happy", it may be possibly valid but it is not enough to accomplish the objective.
If I choose in the moment to be happy, I'm adding one unit of positivity one moment at a time. But if I see I want to be happy, then set the intention to be happy, and then choose to do those things that contribute most to happiness and/or don't do those things that take away from it, I will add many more units of happiness than would be added in random choices in the moment.
There are inspirational and empowering things one can say to oneself or listen to. (Read and select 2 to 4 key methods from this section's piece called: Creating Up From Down. Use them in your life as needed.)
EACH "MOOD" HAS A SET OF COMPONENTS THAT CREATE IT
Each "mood" has a set of components that create the mood. We simply must be aware of the components and then choose to do the positive causes if we want to produce a higher mood.
However, we must combine several components, not just one instant one, to produce the greater feeling we desire. (It's like stopping a speeding truck, one doesn't say "stop truck!", one instead does each of the components - take your foot off the gas, apply the brakes and maybe the emergency brake, honk your horn to avoid collisions - and, in the long run, stop speeding!)
And, last but not least, if one practices those items that are congruent with what supports the desired mood and stops those things that are harmful, one will certainly get better results.
Changing negative reinforcing habits such as being late and rushing would be dropped and replaced with better get-there-early habits.
Smoking and drinking alcohol and eating blood-sugar-spiking items (see Addictions - Harmless?) would be dropped.
Physical health and body strength (for less reactivity) would be improved via exercise and diet.
Sources of anxiety would be dealt with.
In essence, with these, one would re-train the brain not to erratically fire off (false) danger and emergency adjustment signals and to be calmer and stronger, plus one would employ the means to prevent negative moods from predominating.
STABILIZING PRODUCES POWER AND CAPABILITY
By practicing the items above, one's body and mind tends to stabilize and keep its own ability to create harmony, so that one's moods would automatically tend toward what is good and healthy. The tendency toward good moods would be built in. Consequently, one would be happier - and definitely experience a lot less unhappiness, as "bad" moods are the opposite of happiness.
DEAL WITH AND CHANGE THE FOUNDATION!
If one does not deal with the foundation that causes the moods, then the moods will repeat themselves, though they'll be diminished if we use the short term mood management techniques included in this section and other related sections.
The long term key lies in dealing with the fears and beliefs that give the brain a reason to cause the moods. This takes some work, but can be done relatively efficiently and effectively if we use the systematic programs herein and complete them, meaning we fully extinguish what doesn't work and what has caused "the problem" and learn and install what does work - so we don't have to repeat and repeat and repeat, over and over, the problem and/or do partial solutions over and over.
One can, indeed, choose a life that is easy, positive, soundly based for confidence in the future, and enjoyable right now. It's worth every minute!!!!
HOW DOES ONE MANAGE HIS/HER EMOTIONS?
Using these techniques, which have been proven over and over to work, will help you live a more stable, more powerful life where the emotions no longer rule. Managing one's emotions well can enhance one's motivation and one's thinking so that one is actually, and feels, very powerful and effective. Reducing one's vulnerability to such moods, getting rid of the "breeding grounds", will substantially alter one's life for the better!!!!!!
Read:
THREATS AND FEAR - Just reading this can assist you in getting rid of fears, but
also it is a good idea to use the "Fears List" process below.
body reacts from our pre-conscious emotions and what we cannot do (that we
believe we can do) and what we actually can do, simply and very doably.
Review and learn from:
MOOD MANAGEMENT- Whether "down", "depressed" or "upset", how to be "up"
happening and not being "the victim of the mood"! An easy and worthwhile skill to
pick up!
medium term, and long term? Use this instant reminder and also select what works
best for you.
Book to consider: 60 Second Blues Busters, Quick Pick-Me-Up Techniques, by
Joyce Quick (good name, huh!?)
the body reacts from our pre-conscious emotions - and what we cannot do (that,
unfortunately, many people try to do or believe they can do) and what we actually
can do, simply and very doably - so you can actually do what works!
See Personal Plan For Recovery - This is a good structure to install a foundation to
avoid any consistent downness. Designed by specialists and available on the
Worksheets and then Personal Plan.
link to it.
The key things that contribute to suffering and struggle are:
Improper Fear/Anxiety - Recognizing that there is no real threat - one of the
greatest lessons in life!
Erroneous Beliefs - We need to change them to what works and feels good. See
other sections for processes that contribute to this,
So much stress and poor moods are needlessly created through this "suffering"
mentality.
not to suffer anymore.
suffering - and how to uncreate that.
An excerpt from this section is, the following piece, which has a big influence on "moods":
