RESPONSIBILITY VS. VICTIMHOOD
A LOOK AT BEING POWERFUL, OR NOT
Responsibility, in the context it is used in philosophy, is not a matter of blame or fault or burden or obligation, but is a viewpoint that I have 1. the ability to learn and 2. the ability to choose my response [even if I am not yet aware enough in certain cases] and 3. to be the creator of my life.
It is the opposite of the philosophy of "I'm at the effect of" some condition, some circumstance, some cause "out there". Or "I'm my story." Or "my past is responsible for how I am."
Responsibility is a way of being from a viewpoint of what works instead of fault or blame. The responsible person 1. looks to see what works or doesn't work, and then 2. "responds" by promptly correcting what doesn't work, period. (This is the sourec of Living Life As A Life Champion, which is the main objective of this site.)
Irresponsibility leads to "reacting" to other people or circumstances, as if it is pre-conditioned, as if some force outside of, or deep within, ourselves creates the results in life.
Responsibility is manifested in Fearlessness, where one is not at the effect of something bad happening in life but instead committed to doing whatever it takes from that point onward to create what one wants no matter what.
I'll guarantee that the viewpoint of being 100% responsible for one's life works to create overall happiness in life. Anything less is a sure indication of not "being" responsible, of having something else be responsible for how one behaves or feels.
If you want to be happy (duh!) then responsibility plus choosing without inflicting pain are the vehicles to make happiness happen. (See Responsibility - What Is It? How Do I Create More Of It?)
______________________________________________________________________________
CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE
DISCUSSION: THE SPECTRUM - From victimhood through "normal" to fully responsible
VICTIMHOOD - With subsections and references to sections on emotional management (fear, anxiety, worry, anger) and removing criticism and blame,
OTHER RELEVANT READINGS FROM OTHER SECTIONS - Understand the "rest of the story" and how responsibility versus victimhood affects other areas.
____________________________________________________________________________
First, DISCOVER WHERE YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM! (It might be a different place than you think.)
2nd, go see what "Responsibility" really is and how you can be in your full power and vitality in life.
3rd, contrast it with "Victimhood" for clarity and definiteness, so that you'll stop the victimness that most people (even powerful ones) stil maintain - whether through eliminating anger, impatience, self-criticism, or whatever.
_______________________________________________________________________________
WHERE ARE YOU ON THE SPECTRUM?
Mark down where you are on the spectrum, with an x. Mark down a "G" for where you goal is.
THE SPECTRUM
VICTIMHOOD --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FULLY
RESPONSIBLE
Powerless Powerful
Dependent Independently interdependent
-10 -5 0 5 10
"Rescue me" Addictions Average Somewhat No matter what
"Do it for me" "When x, then..."
At the effect of At the cause of
DISCUSSION
Happiness does not exist reliably when one is waiting to be acted upon by a circumstance or a person. A victim is waiting to be acted upon and a responsible person is fully knowing that he/she is the source and cause of all that occurs in his/her world, though not totally controlling all outcomes (which the person accepts). The latter is ready and willing to act on his own.
A human being who is maximally and enduringly happy has taken full responsibility for all of the elements in his or her life, for creating happiness on his/her own. Happiness is not postponed.
The responsible individual does not say: "When I get x, then I'll be happy" "Someday" "If he/she does this, then I'll be happy." "If I am safe and free to entertain myself, then I'm happy."
The responsible individual does not worry and is not anxious, for he/she follows through to complete what needs to be completed - and, at the highest level, actually knows that he/she will produce happiness regardless of the outcome.
The responsible person does not see responsibility as a heavy burden or as being the same as obligation. The responsible person is not the image that many people hold of the overworked, highly successful, very serious top level guy. He/she is, after the "forming it fully" period, a balanced, healthy individual with an easy smile yet one who is fully committed willingly and happily to what works, with no blame, no anger, and virtually no fear.
This is what we are seeking when we are learning life, for at this stage we are able to fully appreciate and enjoy life - and to enduringly have deep happiness. There is no confusion.
Life is not about "growth", as some say is the purpose. It is not growth for the sake of growth. It is about growth for the sake of gaining the ability to increase and then to fully realize the appreciation, satisfaction, fulfillment, and enduring deep happiness at the highest.
See What Is Life About? How To Maximize Happiness In Life. And, of course, read the Responsibility pieces below, as you need to be crystal clear about this - it'll make a huge difference in your life!
On this site, we are simply putting together the pieces in a selective manner that we believe provides a quick, effective, practical path that is "doable" by anyone who chooses to commit to it.
Just follow the path.
DETECTING WHERE YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM - AND CHOOSING
We put this first, before explaining fully what responsibility and victimhood are, so that you could see the relevance of doing any further learning on this topic. (I would actually recommend looking at all three for a clear view. If you do only one, do The Signs Of Victimhood.)
Responsibility Rating - A quick rate yourself as to what is most true of you
and at what level.
The Signs Of Victimhood - Do you have any of these? If so, it is
worthwhile learning how to shift, as it will dramatically change anyone's
life.
This one page sheet helps you to easily see the emotions, behaviors and
reactions that belong to each. And the point is hard to miss. There is
only one real non-victim way to go.
these personas were created and their effects. The opportunity to
commit to creating what you want.
RESPONSIBILITY - See the 100% Responsibility page
VICTIMHOOD - Click to the left and go to the new section on this.
OTHER RELEVANT READINGS FROM OTHER SECTIONS
From Relationship, Communication Overall, read the Criticism, Blame, Victim section, especially The Reasoning For No Blame. Blaming and criticizing are inappropriate behaviors arising from the viewpoint of a victim. Resentment (and/or not forgiving) is the strongest indicator of having a victim viewpoint.
See and understand also: Under Criticism, Blame, Victim, Blame, Criticism, Resentment, Forgiveness - All The Same Problem, All The Same Solution.
There is also in Relationships, Finding/Screening an assessment of behaviors that is normally used to screen out the other person, as they are indicators of "immaturity" and non-responsibility. You could apply those to yourself to see where to consider changing: Paying Attention To The Indicators.
Read the pieces under Psychology, Emotional Management, Anger/Blame/Critic. All of those three are signs of operating as a victim.
Review Psychology, Emotional Management, Fear/Anxiety/Worry, especially About Fear - How It Is Created And Disappeared, a quick overview from the Underlying Basics Of Life. Fear and worry at a level beyond their evolved normal functions are signs of the victim viewpoint.
RESOURCES
RELATED
Note that Responsibility is both a section under Psychology and also under Power In Life.
Take the test in the body of
________________________
Huge Difference
There is a huge difference in power between taking on one of these:
Contents/Links page: Responsibility, Victimhood, And Power In Life - For perspective and to link to pieces of interest.
