AGREEMENTS, COMMITMENTS AND RULES
IN RELATIONSHIPS




AGREEMENTS, COMMITMENTS, RULES (See also Planning, Visions, Goals.  Keep these in
  "Our Relationship" Notebook, located in Relationship Notebooks.)  

   Written commitments and agreements are necessary for clarity and definiteness, plus they
   serve as a reference reminder that enables one to get back on path.
   
  For communication agreements see Relationships, Communication.
 
          The Most Vital Agreement

                      The Marriage Contract - Before proceeding further, whether before being married or
                          after, look at this and then commit, as it will be the basis for a successful
                          relationship!!
                      Agreement On Certain Standards - Also a must for both partners to agree on to
                          have a productive, good relationship
                          See also and agree to:  The Zero Tolerance Rule In Relationship .

          Overall

                   2 versions that are similar, the latter excludes the recognizing the way you have been
                      page.
                     *Re-"Pairing" - Going From the Unconscious Impasse To the Conscious         
                           Relationship - Includes
                                 1) "Where I was at before and my actions" during the "difficulties" period of
                                     the relationship,
                                 2) For the future, the level I will operate at
                                 3) My specific commitment to the relationship and my partner - includes
                                     how I will treat my partner and specific commitments to doing whatever it
                                     takes to create and maintain a loving, conscious relationship.
                      My Specific Commitment To The Relationship and My Partner - Includes the
                      section about the "level I will operate at" in specific areas
                      

          Specific

                   Actions - My Commitment To Actions I will Take to Have My Desired Level of
                      Conscious Relationship - A detailed list of what one can choose to commit to, from
                      psychological health to willingness vs. resistance and barriers, including how much
                      time you are willing to commit to the process.
                   Agreements With Our Partners - Keeping Them? 
                   Agreement Overall On Vision, Commitments and Specific Behavior Requests - It is
                      essential that this agreement be executed so that you are committed to doing what
                      works and not delaying it.
                      See also Making Specific Requests To Meet Your Needs - It is necessary to
                      understand that a relationship is based on meeting each other's needs, not on "love".
                   Behaviors, Realizations, And Commitments - Nailing Down What You Understand -                                   You and your partner, each, get to decide what behaviors don't work, what you
                       realize is true in relationships and responsibility, and what you commit to.  A most
                       valuable exercise, one that can shortcut alot of counseling.
                   CoCommitments - An example
                   Commitment To Actions I Will Take To Have My Desired Level of Relationship 
                   Honor and Respect My Partner - My Pledge To                  
                   Our List of Agreements - An example for you to accumulate agreements of yours
                   Relationship Agreements That Should Be Completed - By Category  
                   RELATIONSHIP RULES AND CONTEXTS WE AGREE TO - List and form for
                   Relationship Rules I Am Committed To - A personal example (for you to jump off)
                   Spending Agreements - What we agree to, including a set of forms to track what is
                      happening.
                   Written Agreements In Our Relationship (An example - from which you might pick
                      some)

          Boundaries 

                   Please Don't Step On My Flower Garden - Honoring each partner's sensitivities, a
                      "poem"
                   Let's You And Me And We Be Toxin-Free - You can choose whether to keep on
                     doing toxic spewing actions or not.  This has a tremendous impact on relationships.