TWO ACCOUNTS
We all have two accounts to draw from and to make us emotionally wealthy (to have what can be called "emotional reserves", which is analogous to "emotional energy" available to use to apply to getting something you want.
We have a bank account and an investment account. The investment account is more long term and earns dividends to increase our emotional wealth, from which we can draw when needed for shorter term purposes.
The smart life management person manages these as if they were life themselves - as they actually are, since the quality of one's emotions determine the quality of one's life!
I recommend you learn this and then use it to manage your happiness.
Note that if there is no decent positive amount in the account, you will not be able to access the energy/power you need to exercise self-control (aka self-discipline, self-management, self-direction), and thus you would not be able to get what you want out of life.
THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT ITSELF
We all have an "emotional bank account".
Some of us are bankrupt all the time. Some of us have full accounts.
Some people have identified lots of ways that work for good deposits. Others deposit counterfeit money, that they think is good, but it has no value - and sometimes they actually cause a withdrawal with it at the same time, though the withdrawal is also usually from the long term emotional investment account. Also, many, many people make little teeny deposits to their bank account but withdraw from their investment account, lowering their overall long term emotional wealth.
Counterfeit deposits are those one makes based on hope that something will turn out, even though it tends not to turn out in general. Like basing one's future happiness on getting "something" so that one will then be happy. Essentially, they are happy about the future prospect of happiness... and then that money disappears over time and becomes worthless.
Teeny deposits to the emotional bank account include the use of some substance (food, smoking, liquor, etc.) to offset one's short term anxiety but cause long term investment account problems (poor health, not feeling as good, lower energy, being overweight, etc.).
Part of "growing up" (actually "maturing" is a better word) is learning how to balance all this so that one has good balances in the emotional accumulation accounts. The Child Persona doesn't stand a chance, as whims and poorly thought out decisions fill one's life. When one learns to replace the believed benefit of being a child with actual benefits that are decided and managed from the Adult Persona, one then can let go of the costly Child Persona.
THE EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT ACCOUNT
The Emotional Investment Account is essentially the same as a long term happiness account, from which we get additional dividends each day in addition to growth from the extra dividends and appreciation (growth of the principal amount, like in stocks). Note that we get dividends each day, to add to our emotional bank account, often leaving an excess in the emotional bank account, which is then deposited back into the investment account. The growth rate is determined by how much we learn about managing our lives for happiness and effectiveness.
These deposits into the emotional investment account are invested in high payoff long term investments, such as the unconditional happiness causes. We carefully avoid the risky, often-losing investments, such as the unhappiness factors. To be smart in this area, we have to learn about investing, so we tie down (get rid of misunderstandings) the basics by learning the Happiness skills and investments.
THE FORMULA
While it is obvious with money that we need some extra from our current money making minus expenditures so that we have something left over to put in the investment account, humans tend to miss that point (and to take advantage of the idea) with regard to the Emotional Investment Account.
Deposits - Withdrawals = Emotional Bank Account Balance
One question is whether we should first learn the short term strategies for the bank account or the long term strategies for the investment account. My recommendation is that you learn both as fast as you can, as they are what happiness (emotional wealth) are based on! However, it is obvious that we must generate a good balance each day or we won't have any emotional money to invest for the long term. Part of managing the day (or the week) is setting aside time to invest in the long term - and, of course, that is difficult if one is in constant short term deficit!
WHAT ARE THE DEPOSITS AND THE WITHDRAWALS
You should decide for yourself what creates deposits for you and withdrawals for you, on as realistic a basis as possible, being sure to avoid "fake payoffs" or "payoffs with too high costs". See Emotional Deposits And Withdrawals page for some already suggested ones.
A GOOD SHORT-TERM AND LONG-TERM DEPOSIT
As one learns to love oneself, using the practices to convince the primitive brain that all is well, one can make daily and weekly deposits that are nurturing. This is a practice to learn as soon as you can, especially Soothing And Nurturing yourself. Convincing your primitive self that you'll take care of this will, in turn, lower one of the sources of emotional withdrawal, that of seeking approval.
FILLING UP IN THE MORNING
The Morning Deficit
At night, some of us repair and are better off when we get up in the morning. Some people do problem solving as they sleep and some do positive dreaming.
Most people get up slightly depressed, maybe not feeling so great physically and also pondering the "threats" of the day, wondering how they'll handle things, being anxious, etc.
Then those people start the day like that, incurring more deficits because they aren't functioning as well as they might. (Some people get alot done, but their accounts are still being in deficit and the great amount being accomplished does not add enough into the account to offset the cost or to make as big a deposit as is needed.)
The Morning "Fill-up"
What will fill up various people will tend to vary somewhat, so it is good to have a selection available. Also, there are items that are needed for everyone. The idea here, since we do not often recall all that is needed or useful, is to have a "reminders" list. Thus we recommend the use of The Reminders Notebook.
In The Reminders Notebook, you'd have a list of things that you could do in the morning to fill up. Although we'll provide many things for that list (see the One Person's Reminders Notebook for an example and for items you can just grab and use immediately to fill up your notebook), you'll write down and add things to the lists. (Hopefully, you'll sit down for 10 - 30 minute sessions and do quick writes of your ideas and of what to add to the lists, keeping them in your Reminders Notebook.
Use of the Reminders Notebook - the morning routine and options
Later:
