YOU MUST BE WILLING
TO CHECK ON HOW YOU ARE DOING OR THE RELATIONSHIP MAY DIE.
CONTENTS:
QUICK TEST - Two page rating, ending with what we need more of and what we need less of in our
relationship.
QUESTIONNAIRES - Lists for "make wrongs" doing to each other, psychological/relationship profile to
use for counseling, what is and is not working for me in the relationship
WHY TEST? WHY MONITOR?
The key overall reason is that one cannot achieve good results without knowing where one is at and how much one is progressing. With no assessment, there are fewer possibilities of growing and of knowing where growth is needed.
A principle of management and of life: "What gets measured is what gets done."
We want to be loved and to express love. This is the way to be sure that we are achieving it!
INSTRUCTIONS
Diffferent ratings and checkups can be used to provide more perspective.
The key ones to use first are capitalized and then, next, would be the ones that are
asterisked.
See the capitalized title with three asterisks to do first.
Look at the other titles and read the ones that appear to be of interest, as they will help
ground you better in relationships.
TESTS TO DO FIRST, PRIME COMPREHENSIVE VERSION:
MULTIPLE PAGES - Comprehensive
REALISTICALLY TO SEE WHERE WE WANT TO GO WITH OUR
RELATIONSHIP. Use the first three pages or go ahead and use some of the
others. This is extremely, extremely illuminating.
QUICK TEST:
just a few factors, from sharing duties to upsets. Opportunity to state what the
relationship needs more or less of.
TESTS AND QUESTIONNAIRES TO FILL OUT IN WHICH ORDER - Focussing on the essential tests
in order to be fully aware of what is going on is so essential to creating a great relationship!
Which Tests To Take In Which Order:
1st: Depending on what level you want to go to, though both are relatively quick
See the two tests immediately above.
2nd: Optional, but still recommended for more in-depth view: Consider doing those
two tests in CAPITAL LETTERS, below, that are rated "prime".
Passed through the romance stage: Do the test on where you choose to go once reality
(and problems) sets in. Stages - What Do You Choose Once The Romance Goes
Into Stage 2? (Scroll down under alphabetical listing below.)
COMPLETE LISTING, ALPHABETICALLY Will be separated into Overall, then by level of depth and
frequency; Behaviors, Beliefs/Myths, Loving, Partnering
up in your relationship and what would you rather have?
with? Which you believe can make a huge difference in how your relationship
goes. You should know which beliefs you should have that will make a
relationship.
just a few factors, from sharing duties to upsets. Opportunity to state what the
relationship needs more of and less of.
this, so they are less likely to get what they really want - in terms of what and
how.
know what it is? Do you adequately practice it? A great check-up!
partner? What level are you at? Learn how to be a great partner.
dysfunctional behaviors. Use this exercise to discriminate between them and to
check out what is going on.
you are at in each of the key components of a relationship, plus the overall
relationship and each of its key components. One page, plus attached
explanations of what a good level would be in each area.
(Deeper) What level of consciousness and loving are you at, on a level of 1 to 10, in your
relationship? Also, if you wish, you can rate (2 pages) the positive and negative
energies in your relationship and see what your score indicates your level to be.
See also in the Agreements section, the Overall subsection,where you can
commit to a higher level, conscious relationship.
relationship behaviors? In this you rate how you are doing, giving a score, in both
the "good" side and the "not so good" side - and then you get to make a choice
about which you want to be or be doing.
have in the relationship are identified as to whether they are occurring in the
relationship, either for you or your partner. As you discriminate, you get to make
a new commitment and be clear what not to do.
partner you are, whether you can discuss anything, blame, etc. A good overall
check up. Two pages.
(Use for checkup that measures whether we are doing the things we are supposed to do for
ongoing our relationship. Can be used by counselors to check what happened between
checkups) appointments. Measures couple's communication sessions, learning, problems,
arguments, resentments, lovingness, making love.
Choice! childhood wounds start being expressed, we have a choice on whether to grow or
not. You and/or your partner need to make a choice. Followed by quick awareness
and check up (1 page)
Check to see where the problems are coming from, then follow the path to
resolving them to create a great relationship.
(Above as REALISTICALLY TO SEE WHERE WE WANT TO GO WITH OUR
1st test RELATIONSHIP. Remember, please, that it is seldom all the partner's fault. See
to do) the Relationship, Communication section's pieces on Criticism, Blame, etc.
(This one is already included above but listed here for completeness of this list.)
QUESTIONNAIRES
sibling, friend, associate...
form for the client to fill out a "profile" of everything from temperament to styles of
operating and much more, to give the counselor a broader picture of the client than
can be achieved in unsystematic interviews.
the woman, with items pre-filled in as possibilities.
