tba
CONTENTS
Defined
Perhaps the origination of the concept
The components of a racket
The sure indicators that you are doing a racket
How to be racket free
How to find out your rackets
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DEFINED
Definition: Any dishonest scheme or practice, a pretending to be one thing and being another for an undisclosed benefit to the "perpetrator", almost always at a cost to the "victim".
"The stream of excuses we use to condone our stupid actions."
In this case in life, we are referring to where you are fooling yourself into consistently producing some undesirable result. Unravelling that is what creates a whole new way of being.
This is actually not about right/wrong or good/bad, but about creating "what works".
PERHAPS THE ORIGINATION OF THE CONCEPT
"A racket is then a set of behaviours which originate from the childhood script rather than in here-and-now full Adult thinking, which (1) are employed as a way to manipulate the environment to match the script rather than to actually solve the problem, and (2) whose covert goal is not so much to solve the problem, as to experience these racket feelings and feel internally justified in experiencing them."
The one we'll use in here: An ongoing complaint justifying the behavior that is attached to it, for the purpose of getting believed payoffs that are illusionary, obtained at great personal cost to oneself.
THE COMPONENTS OF A RACKET
A negative statement/belief/complaint/result or "reason why not" that persists over time, without being solved. (If one is feeling powerless or inauthentic, there is a racket.)
A pattern of behavior related to it.
Believed payoff(s) (that is an illusory one)
Costs of something more important
THE SURE INDICATORS THAT YOU ARE DOING A RACKET
Payoffs: Anytime this is going on:
Sure indicators:
Making somebody else wrong.
Making yourself wrong.
Your being "right" about anything.
You're not feeling powerful in that part of your life.
Probable indicators: (Note the indicator and inquire to yourself about whether it is part of a racket.)
Being inauthentic and hiding something
Trying to dominate/control someone
HOW TO BE RACKET-FREE
This means you'd learn to, and then implement, not value judge oneself and/or another. (Enter "no blame" into the search engine and read until you understand and are able to let go of this.)
This is possibly the most important lesson to learn in life to live a happy life, as it frees up an enormous amount of wasted energy and attention so that one can be clear about seeing life and what is to be done next.
HOW TO FIND OUT YOUR RACKETS
Just list any complaint or "reason why not" you've had for a while now, on a piece of paper or in the computer.
Fill these in or check off what is true from the suggestions.
My racket (complaint, reason why not) is:
My behavior consistently attached to it: (withdrawing, disconnecting, being resigned, feeling sad, isolated, alone, self justification, pouting,
Payoffs: (being right, making others wrong, looking good, believed control or protection, illusory relief of illusory fear, trying to avoid feeling like a victim or being dominated by another, believed power over another
Costs: aliveness, connection, happiness, satisfaction, peace of mind, loss of power, reduced freedom, feeling bad [regret, shame, guilt]
I recognize this and I have weighed the costs and assessed the payoffs. I know this is not for my better good, so I hereby give up this ruse. I also hereby commit to correcting any damage and making any necessary amends.
I acknowledge that I am responsible for creating this and that I am not the victim of another or of any circumstance. I acknowledge that my perceptions and even my beliefs about what I believe are facts could be incorrect. I acknowledge that the other person is simply doing what is appropriate given his/her viewpoint, circumstances, and present awareness - and that what was done or decided by the other person totally makes sense in their world, though, as with me, those could be in error.
What I really want is
And to remove the barriers to getting that I will
The possibilities I create are now....(the opposite of the impossibilities plus support of who to be, what to do....
The beliefs that are not true are:
The beliefs I create that are true and empowering replacements are:
What I will do to correct any damage is: (forgive or ask forgiveness
Communicate what needs to be said, stop withholding communication and/or hiding it. Communicate my responsibility in the matter and what I did and what doesn't work and my new promise or commitment. Listen to the other person until that person is fully heard and knows it.
The following link is an outside link, which is subject to being "broken" when the site is changed. You will have to enter the terms in the search engine.
LANDMARK EDUCATION'S VERSION
For a brief video vignette on this, see under the Introduction To The Landmark Forum, video section, click on "see it in action" and watch the 6 video vignettes giving you a preview of 6 concepts discussed in the Forum. Go to the middle right one: "Rackets: The payoff and the costs" Complaining but keeping acting a fixed way, with huge costs. Click also on Course Syllabus for Landmark Education's Landmark Forum, for its treatment. It is absolutely recommended that anyone who is a human being attend the Landmark Forum.
