THE ONE DECISION
THAT DETERMINES ALL OF LIFE!!!!!
REPLACED, UPGRADED FROM EARLIER THOUGHTS
The earlier one was true, but did not include a deeper foundational base that is necessary to build up to that point!
___________________________________________
Draft 5/15/11
"Your One Decision is a personal, life-defining commitment to the quality of your life - a commitment to living a life of MORE AND to do/learn whatever it takes to achieve that as rapidly as possible." (See box insert for author.)
This decision will determine the quality of your life.
It will guide you in every choice you make in life.
It will transform your life up level after level to a truly great experience - and the ability to contribute greatly to the world.
If you make this one decision that determines the level of life you choose to live, you will experience your greatest life. While it seems a "no-brainer", obvious decision on the surface, it is much deeper than whim or "of course" or surface appeal. It takes some understanding to get to the level where you make a true decision - one where you truly cut off the other alternatives (de = off, cision = cut).
And to not waste energy on periphery or not controllable items; to build such a powerful core that I am invulnerable to undesirable circumstances and people not doing what I wish ("need"): The Core Of Your Life - Just Maintain This And Your Circumstances Will Not Matter. Just do "The Build" and life will turn out great.
___________________________________________________
SHOOT AT THE CENTER OF THE TARGET
By "shooting" for the core, we are aiming our arrows of effort toward the center of the target, towards that which will create the greatest impact toward making us powerful creators of life. Essentially, on this path, we are choosing to continue what we started but choosing not to "stop short" of growing our capability to handle life and be happy. We are not staying in the range of tolerating what we should not tolerate in our lives. We are completing our capability to solve all problems and the practice of immediately and completely solving problems, such that we do not have any ongoing problems (other than what is unavoidable in life in terms of physicality).
Essentially, in making the one decision, we are choosing to not exist at a relatively naive level in life, where most people stop because they are "surviving" and life is "kinda OK" - where the actuality of it is that they are tolerating lots of problems and a failure to have even half of the life they could have. In life we went from being a child to a teenager to a young adult to a middle age adult to an old adult, but we stopped learning "life" at a high school level.
How do I know if I am living life at a lower wisdom level? By the results, of course. (Notice that most people will have a sense that they are living at a level of less than what they could have.) Here are the "tests", where you take a look in black and white - and decide if the level you are at is the one to stay at.
THE MISSING PIECE OF THE DECISION: THE DOING
Integral to this decision, of course, is the doing of "making it happen".
How do we do it?
Of course, I have to ask first "what is it I am doing?"
You are engaged in the process of enhancing your power to produce "life value" and in so doing you are removing that which reduces power and/or gets in the way of producing life value. (Defined and discussed in Life Value Productivity, and the book the page links to.)
You are doing it not at a "good level" or an "interested level" but at the standard of 90+% - at the standard of not stopping short of getting the actual concrete results you want, at the "best you can" level.
At that level, because you are "doing the work", you are no longer run by weaknesses, nor shame, blame, guilt, regret (which force you to play small in life) - you are free of them. The plain fact of it is that we cannot live a truly powerful life with those personal-spirit killers and energy vampires. You are no longer just sporadically visiting your "faults" with only enough effort and work to feel "not so bad" for the moment, creating a lower functioning patchwork of life - you are finishing the job, you are completing it.
So, while we will address the details of the steps to take to achieve life-effectiveness, we must recognize that the key to solving and resolving and creating all that we want is to "do the work" and not just wish that, somehow, the problems and life killers will just go away or that you'll just be able to tolerate them. At that level, we recognize that it is necessary to not be a Life Dilettante, able to spout theory and facts but often not implementing or even gaining "Sufficient Knowing" to actually be able to get the desired results. If we have stopped short, the evidence is that we are still suffering a life of oneself being determined by outside forces, by other people setting our agendas, by our being the prisoner of seeking approval, of being run by guilt and shame, stuck in a Box Prison of our own making. (It is time for the dilettantes, the non-completers, to stand up and take a position of no longer tolerating such a life!)
THE EFFECT "OUT THERE"
Life effectiveness not only is about our being happier, as it affects all of those around us. We become more effective at everything, as we are more capable of observing, learning, and making good decisions, so we are able to deliver a contribution to the world that is 10 to 100 times greater than most - whether it be to a small circle of those close to us or to a greater circle.
We shall not fool ourselves that we are contributing anywhere close to what we could contribute, if we are stuck in "linear" thinking, where a little effort contributes a proportional little contribution - or even where a little effort contributes a "pretty good" contribution (enough for our ego to feel we deserve credit). Instead of contributing a fraction of what we can contribute, we will be so powerful that we concentrate on the few highest impact activities with great power, such that we make an impact that is at least 100 times greater in total positive impact than the linear effect.
We will no longer persist in fooling ourselves to believe that we are doing well in the contribution area if we are allowing our relationships to slip and/or if we are not actually living ("doing") our values. Having a value that is not followed, indeed, has no value in life!
REALITY: TIME AND EFFORT TO BRIDGE THE GAP
And, according to reality and laws of physics, in order to get somewhere we have to cover the distance by using time and effort - excluding magic as not a viable alternative! If we have laid out before us all the steps on the path that we need to take to get to our destination, it does us no good if we do not expend the effort and take the time to walk the path all the way to the end.
[It is interesting to note that one cannot live a good life if one does not base it on reality - and that many people have not bothered to determined what actual reality is!!!!!]
THE ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED MINDSET: THE CONTEXT FOR ATTAINING A GREAT LIFE
In deciding to live a great life, in making that "one decision", we must decide if we will continue whatever degree we are at of having a Fixed Mindset, for we cannot live a great life if we are busy defending (and worrying about) how good we are or how smart we are - if we living behind masks and scrambling to avoid anything that has us not "look good" and/or anything that will "blemish" the image of how intelligent or good we are.
We can only accomplish this by thoroughly completely living the Growth Mindset. The evidence of living that way is that we are objectively far along the growth path, not just a little way up the growth curve, but substantially up on it, diligently growing, not sporadically revisiting "growth" as needed for "relief".
How does one know if one is in a fixed mindset?
By looking at the evidence: the same old problems persist over time. One still lives based on trying, but not quite accomplishing, to be "good enough" and to somehow keep coping with, but keeping, shame, guilt, self-criticism, lack of self confidence - all signs of lack of true personal power. The person who holds onto the fixed mindset is still where he/she was, in many regards, as a child or a teenager or a not-quite-together young adult, though he will often hope that some rescue will happen, some miracle, to assuage or lessen the problems and/or he may just live in a sort of haze of denial, not quite connecting the dots.
SO, HOW MUCH TIME?
We need to recognize that the task of building our powerful core is a big one. We need to know that we do not need to get to the end before enjoying many of the benefits. We need to also know, so that we will keep going, that the benefits compound and accumulate at a faster pace over time.
And we need to set aside that time. This is perhaps the greatest challenge, though it is not really as hard as people think - no, let me restate the truth of it: it is actually an easier (and better) way to live life. I discuss the exact requirements in Starting, And Continuing, Great Momentum On Improving Life, Reaping Huge Benefits As We Go And Even More As We Hit Our Goals. Read that piece, to see if it is best for you to choose 1 hour a week, 3 hours, 5, 7 or which?
ARE YOU WILLING TO DECLARE A DECISION?
Will you no longer stand for living a life that is a small fraction of the great life we can have? Are you willing to be less than enduringly, unconditionally happy?
Do you recognize that we cannot live great lives in weakness? Are you no longer willing to tolerate what is getting in the way of your living a great life? Are you no longer willing to tolerate blame, shame, self-criticism, guilt, regret in your life? Are you no longer willing to tolerate being subpar in relationships and in certain areas that you value strongly?
What is your decision? What will you do? What are the results that you require of yourself and your life?
See one version of such a declaration:
AS MUCH AS I WOULD HOPE THAT MY CONTRIBUTION GREATLY BENEFITS YOU, IT IS ACTUALLY YOUR LEVEL OF EFFORT THAT DETERMINES THE OUTCOME
It is my hope that I can make your journey more efficient, more directed, less time consuming, and much more effective.
But I can only, at the best, provide worthwhile, helpful content. It is up to you to determine the context in which that will be used. In fact, it is more that context than any content that matters - for the context will assure that the job will be done regardless of how the content facilitates it.
Context means "how we hold" something in our life. If we hold life in a context of the possibility of having a great one that is fully lived and enjoyed and if we hold it in the context that we can and will create it through doing whatever is necessary, we will certainly achieve it (regardless of Keith's efforts and hopes!).
This is not:
Ice cream based (or 'substance' based)
Escape based
Event/circumstance based
Possession based
Based on getting approval
This is:
Unconditional (instead of dependence on "conditions" to be happy)
Solely by your creation
It is the commitment to be responsible for making every day exceed the Positivity Ratio, even if you feel crumby. (See Live A Life Dictated By Feelings...Or Not?)
This is based on the key to life:
Stop waiting or expecting to be made happy by outside events, things, or other people. Instead, find out what works to create happiness - and then create all the happiness you need and if something else is added from outside, that is a bonus.
I guarantee you'll be happy if you follow this rule.
A BIG MISTAKE ALONG THE WAY
Those who "like" the idea of solving a few of their life problems will often not be fully committed to thoroughly doing the life wisdom process. Full commitment means a "no matter what" commitment (except for emergencies that must be dealt with). The big mistake people make is that they allow "busyness" to get in the way. Their life fills up with "doing", which pushes aside the learning and growing time. This shows, in action, that they are prioritizing (whether consciously or not) the doing over their growth in life capability. The problem is that that leaves them at the same level of life capability, with the same ongoing problems, living the same Groundhog Day life or some level of it. You know you are at that level if you are living like this
DISCUSSION
Making the decision to be happy is the biggest decision of all, for it is the purpose of life. Other purposes may be important, but they all lead to this ultimate purpose.
In ALL of the wisdom literature, we source suffering by depending on outside things to bring us happiness. This is the "I will be happy when..." false belief system. In order to be happy, we must give up this rule of unhappiness - and move on, to creating it all yourself.
One of the key principles of life is to not spend effort trying to control what one cannot control and to spend the primary effort on controlling what one can control. If you don't follow the opposite rule, I guarantee you will have enough things that you can control that are sufficient to create full, underlying happiness that is there regardless of the circumstances. And one of the ways you'll do this is through assuring that you live each day creating the 5+ to 1 Positivity Ratio - this is happiness itself, proven. See Positivity Ratio.
WHAT IS THE MAIN COURSE AND WHAT IS THE DESSERT
A while back someone wrote a book titled "Men Are Just Dessert". For those who heeded its central concept, they experienced the peace of no longer trying to make something happen that could not happen, trying to control the uncontrollable, and to accept what was so - and then to create based on that reality.
The basic idea is that it would not work for someone to try to have the men meet all the needs for a woman, or even those that the woman hoped to have them meet. The men could not provide all the sustenance of the main course. They were just possible desserts; bonuses, in a sense. Keeping perspective on this is vital - so you might wish to follow the trail, and the way of living, that starts at What I Have, For Sure.
In life you will starve or have figurative emotional "sugar highs" (the emotional equivalent) and great lows if you depend on what is outside you. You'll be whipped around by circumstances, people's opinions of you, what you have or don't have, and "things". Not a smart strategy!!!!
But if you create and eat a full meal yourself, then you won't be hungry nor needy nor subject to the availability of dessert. You'll be full, satisfied, complete. You'll have happiness underlying all of what you do and all of what you live.
__________________________________________
A WORD ABOUT THE ILLUSION OF "SACRIFICE"
Your Chimp Brain "thinks" it needs some things which it doesn't need. It "thinks" obeying the impulses in life is what makes life work or as what it must obey.
But the things that are given up forever are those things that have no actual value or are of low value pushing aside higher value. You can't do two things at once, so you must insert that which is of the most value in the "space" (doing), which means you are displacing the low value item, instead of the idiotic practice of letting the low value fill up one's life while displacing doing what is of higher value.
In being 100% responsible, you are choosing to decide for yourself, using your higher brain, what is best, instead of defaulting to out-dated or wrong programming.
You will be far ahead and you will feel so much fuller that you will know that you did not truly sacrifice feeling better. You only "traded up" to get greater value out of your life.
READ THIS NEXT!!
Once you make the ONE decision, you would proceed with the reading in the "Next" section of this sidebar.
However, it seems to me, as it helped me turn the trick so that I could get to the stage of understanding that would lead me to being able to actually implement this into my life. From my experience, to get to that level of ability, it would be best to go through in-depth the process of letting go of impulses and false signals of false needs, such that one arrives at accepting the short term (artificial) discomforts in favor of the greater benefits "on the other side". From that one engages in a setting of the rules and my final commitment to the way of life that is several levels above where I was living before (which was "pretty good").
(coming soon, meanwhile read the supporting pieces that follow)
NEXT
Be aware of these as our key mandatory focuses:
Establish a time strategy: Read Starting, And Continuing, Great Momentum On Improving Life, Reaping Huge Benefits As We Go And Even More As We Hit Our Goals.
Then read the related pieces.
The Fixed Mindset Versus The Growth Mindset - The decision whether to stand and defend or to grow greater and greater.
The Life Wisdom Mindset - Through learning life wisdom I will build a great life.
RELATED
This decision has two pieces
1. To be 100% Responible
2. To be happy.,
They MUST go together, because if one is not creating one's life, being totally in charge and responsible for it, one will not do what is necessary to reach happiness.
And if one is not determined to be happy and does not know what works to be happy, one may be responsibly going off toward goals that do not lead to happiness. In other words, one will be successful in certain things, but not in the most important thing: happiness!!!!
THE ONE DECISION:
To be 100% responsible for creating high happiness as my primary purpose in life. This must include the decision to be powerful, where you give up the weak and dysfunctional ways we tolerate in our lives.
The two key supporting decisions:
1. Implicit in the term "responsibility" is for one to take the position that one is the cause over all of one's own life, without relying on any dependency. Decide now that it is necessary, if you are to have a good life, that you must and will be At Cause In The Matter Of My Life - Inquiring And Making A Stand.
2. To commit to what is the only workable means to gaining happiness, as my highest priority, to learning and developing wisdom, which enables me to make the right, effective choices in life. (This leads to my developing "life capability" - the ability for me to get all of what I want out of life.)
Other ways of stating your "one decision"
From the book author of The Soft Addiction Solutions (also the author of The One Decision) by Judith Wright:
"...choosing between living in a pleasant, anesthetized haze or experiencing life in all its authentic pain and pleasure..." (where one experiences far less "pain" in life because one stops overreacting and magnifying and causing oneself unnecessary suffering).
"...Decide you are going to have a powerful, rich, and meaningful life."
Decide "between living deep, conscious lives, or shallow, unconscious ones."
To live a life of "true satisfaction and steering you away from the false promises of soft addictions."
Her books start off with There Must Be More Than This (to life), which was a best seller, and stated the big question that a lot of people ask at some point.
