Use these resources to laser in on what will be the most effective.  Pay special attention to the possible orders in which you would read them as putting them in that order would aid you in creating a "plan".


(Since we would refer anyway, we affiliated with Amazon and Enlightened Partners, so we can offset our costs. Please access them through our links.)

All of the items below are recommended for your consideration only.  We, of course, do not guarantee any of them or own any of them.

WEBSITES/SERVICES - Useful in themselves and also containing in most cases some        
                                               services you might wish to use.  See especially the workshops!

SERVICES ONLY -           Services only without an information packed website.

BOOKS -                          Overall
                                           Communication - Must read at least two of these to decently relate.
                                           Finding and selecting - Read at least two of these to avoid mistakes!
                                           Relating - There are four books you should definitely read.

VIDEOS - Many are for rent, such as with  Other videos are offered
                 from the resources above, but these are ones that are either independent
                 or we wish to draw special attention to.


(These are "informational" websites that may also have related services related.  For recommended services that do not have informational websites click here: Services that do)
Alison Armstrong - Many workshops for women on understanding men (since women are the ones who do this type of thing.  A couples retreat/workshop is available, and highly recommended.  She and her trainers are great at creating understanding and what works. 
COUPLES INSTITUTE - Includes seminars for couples to have better relationships, located in Palo Alto, California. 
DRPHIL.COM - Excellent resource for this type of thing.  A good "read" if you'll just sit down and plan to spend some time "reading."
EHARMONY - From singles to marrieds, they have developed excellent materials from their 12 set CD set to their online video programs.  Consider using these for your learning.
ENLIGHTENED PARTNERS - Relationship building.  One of the best e-books, one that everyone should have.
FAMILY LIFE - Conferences all over the United States.  A "Weekend to Remember", for couples to enhance and/or to repair the marriage.  Site also includes better parenting, single life, spiritual growth.  There is a religious element also in this one.
MARTY FRIEDMAN - He discovered what he was doing, just in time to transform and save his relationship.  Consider reading his book and/or attending a workshop.  
JOHN GOTTMAN - One of the renowned researchers in what works.  His workshops are excellent, plus there are workshops available on DVD.  See also the summary information on his website, especially the "tips" section.
LIGHT YOUR FIRE - Ellen Kriedman (How To Light Her Fire, How To Light His Fire) teaches you how to create a whole new relationship - all without having to do complicated marriage counseling!
MARRIAGE BUILDERS - Dr. Harley's many relationship books and insights have been condensed down into easily understood principles.  Take his excellent Emotional Needs Questionnaire (free).  Particularly, I'd strongly recommend, for completeness and effectiveness, the online course, coupled with the accountability program and **The Marriage Builder's Weekend (workshop).  The workshop has all the elements I consider to be important for effectiveness:  An initial assessment to which to compare your progress and a continuing program of learning for a year are very powerful and, in my opinion, necessary, for it appears that workshops without followup are not very effective.
Recommendation:  Their 2 DVD programs.
MARRIAGE SPIRIT, THE - A very, very loving approach to marriage.  Quite touching.
NONVIOLENTCOMMUNICATION.COM and the originator CNVC.ORG are two key sites.  Well known for improving the ability to communicate with empathy and without opposition.  Recommended by many top marriage counselors.  Explanation of what it is.
RELATIONSHIP-HELP.COM - A special site with lots of info, resources, and a special built in reminder system(!).  You can link to the fundamental training trainers in The Getting The Love You Want workshops.
GARY SMALLEY - An old expert, with a great site.  Refers to "religious" stuff so some people might not want to use this if they are adverse to that or have trouble re-interpreting.
SMARTMARRIAGES.COM - A coalition of counselors and WORKSHOPS available throughout the nation, plus some good articles.

Counselors with Content Rich Sites and Resources

JANET GREENWOOD, in Elk Grove, California, content on site consists of some answers to question and some "quick" view pieces.  Besides regular counseling, she offers:
   1.  5 Hour Intensives for couples
   2.  Several e-books:  "I Do - An Imago Workbook For Pre-marital Couples"
                                  "Rescue Your Marriage In 5 Hours - An Imago Guide For Couple in Crisis"


There are services, in many cases, also attached to the websites above.  Look at those also.

(Since we would refer anyway, we affiliated with Amazon and Enlightened Partners, so we can offset our costs. Please access them through our links.)

All of the items below are recommended for your consideration only.  We, of course,  do not guarantee any of them or own any of them.


          Workshops, special trainings
          Mediation, Divorce

                                                                                                           Back to top  


BEN KAUFMANN - Highly recommended for putting together relationships that are tenuous, from a divorce attorney, believe it or not.!  Call. Sacramento.
RICHARD LUI - See Psychology, he does a great job in this area, where couples actually leave feeling closer to each other, instead of being alienating and "in the problem".  He has devised (cleverly) several good worksheets and learnable methods. 916 481 0234.  Also, he teaches several very good classes throught the Learning Exchange in Sacramento (


   Carol A. Anderson, Fresno -
   Nancy Jongeward, Sacramento, 916 482-9201
   Bill Blazek, Sacramento, 916 641-7140
   Robert and Joyce Simpson, Santa Ana, California - 714-997-9600 

WORKSHOPS - See also the websites/services above that are highlighted for workshops.  Ones that are specially recommended are bolded.  See also the piece about making workshops effective, under Sustaining Relationship, Learning and Mastering.

CAROL A. ANDERSON - The best basic relationship workshop I've ever seen (and also experienced myself).  It is warm, safe, and very effective, with excellent presentation of information, practice, and tools that will serve one forever.  It is also excellent for couples who have a poor relationship, altering their viewpoints and knowledge such that they become committed to creating the relationship that supports them, full of love and support and even re-romanticizing.  In my opinion, this workshop should be required for all relationships!  She is located in Fresno and does workshops in various parts of California, such as San Francisco.  Go to her website at
GEORGE AND DEBORAH TAYLOR -  Relationship counseling using their experience and a base of training from Gay and Kathleen Hendricks (Conscious Loving).  They do workshops around the country, but mostly on the West Coast.  See their schedule and contact information at
RETROUVAILLE WEEKEND     AND FOLLOW-UPS.  For married couples where the relationship is anywhere from rocky to separated but who want to get back together.  Highly recommended.  For information go to their website: 
LANDMARK COMMUNICATION COURSES - Opens up communications such that you can speak about anything.  (Prerequisite:  The Landmark Forum, which is recommended for virtually everyone)  This course  is not just for couples, but in increasing your communication skills, it adds to your ability to communicate in a "generous" effective way.  This type of course would not be among the first courses for a couple, I believe, but it could be good as a periodic refresher/improvement workshop.  
MARRIAGE-BUILDERS        - See description above in Websites/Services, above.
MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER WEEKEND.  This is the famous marriage improvement weekend, where they do refer to "God" a bit, but it is still just fine for anyone, from atheist to strong believer.  Marriages improve significanlty, especially in communication, which is at the center of any good relationship.  To find out more:  
Sacramento Healthy Marriages Project - Carolyn Curtis received a large grant to set this up.  Check it out and use it!  Don't forget to check out the "Events" section as more learning opportunities are available there.
GARY SMALLEY - See above in Websites/Services.


To have a successful relationship, the you and the me must be in good shape to have a great "us".

THE HOFFMAN INSTITUTE - Reportedly the best and most complete.  A 7 day program, but it helps get rid of alot of the barriers that end up taking you time and also lower the quality of life. See
The Hoffman Institute Summary Page.


CAROL DELZER, Attorney, Mediator - An excellent, sensitive, progressive approach.
916 851-0555
KIMBERLY SMITH, Attorney, Mediator, Trained Coach - Constructively, positively oriented and able to create and maintain rapport for the couple. 916 446-7735

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VIDEOS RE: RELATIONSHIPS Many are for rent, such as with  Other videos are offered from the resources above, but these are ones that are either independent or we wish to draw special attention to.  

FIREPROOF, the movie - Actually was in the theaters, though it is a dramatized teaching movie.  If you're not religious, you'll have to take out the religious references part, but the technique and its application is a wonderful process. should have it.

Understanding Women - Expensive, but good for groups.  Very effective in creating understanding of both of the sexes such that the relationships are dramatically improved once this is seen. 

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This uses the principle of completion - if you wait for something to happen or just do a little bit here and there, mostly nothing happens.  But when you "complete" you really capture what is needed.  A workshop provides the "structure" to enable completion.  Also, one should remember that what you do after the workshop makes the difference in truly mastering and applying what is learned.

Eventually we will have a scholarship fund available for these.
Personal psychology is an integral part of relationships.

You > Relationship < Partner

Go To:
Psychological Well-Being

See: Essential Quick Grounding In Relationships to provide some direction on what to use.
       Finding/Screening A Relationship - See the special resources, discussions, and strategies.

Make it right.  It's worth the effort, as only 7% of marriages end up being happy.  Love and infatuation are not good ways to select a long term partner!!!!

See at least:

  Quick Essentials to Learn
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In Association with

Family And Children section,
    including resources.