LIFE COACHING
HOW TO USE COACHING TO CREATE SIGNIFICANT FORWARD PROGRESS IN LIFE - AND GREATER WISDOM MORE QUICKLY
CONTENTS
Discussion
Why partner?
Finding and engaging the right coach for you
An alternative: How to partner with a non-coaching individual, but as
coaches to each other
How To Coach
The Coaching Questions
Another alternative: Various forms of on-line coaching
The economics of having a coach
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"The most effective strategy for success, by far, is to find the experts, coaches, and those who have succeeded and to learn from them. At all times, have a coach who can help guide you, and keep you from languishing or deviating from the path. This will be the easiest, most effective way to achieve happiness in life."
The BuddhaKahuna
DISCUSSION
If you can afford a coach but don't use one, it would be a big loss of forward progress for yourself - and possibly one of the biggest mistakes in your life to not take advantage of this very productive opportunity.
If you can't afford a coach, then use the alternative method, below.
See the discussion below on the benefits and the methods.
WHY PARTNER?
One of the great principles of effectiveness in life is to partner and use resources that will more you forward faster and better. Direct one on one coaching is possibly the most effective method of all - of course, with the "right" coach.
WHY PARTNER USING A COACH?
Simply because a committed coach will help you progress so much faster toward whatever you want, and normally in an easier, more enjoyable way!!!!
A coach is like having a second brain to consult with and to test one's beliefs, ways of doing things, and one's decisions. In a way, but far more effective, it is like having another mother or father to encourage you, reinforce you, and to help you gain greater wisdom.
Coaching is usually done over the phone, most often weekly but bi-weekly is also workable, and takes from 15 minutes to an hour, except in extraordinary situations. In that short amount of time, your last week is reviewed, harnessed for knowledge, new decisions are made (sometimes requiring a little "homework", however) and a strategy/plan/goals are set for the next week.
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Testimonial from the site of Carolyn Ingram, a highly recommended coach:
“I brought myself to coaching kicking and screaming, not really believing (a) it would help, or (b) that I couldn’t do it all myself. Give yourself this opportunity. I am flourishing in ways I didn’t dream of, thanks to Carolyn and the work we did."
F.D. Emmy nominated entertainer, Sacramento, CA
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FINDING AND ENGAGING THE RIGHT COACH FOR YOU
The people who tend to go into coaching are a delightful, helpful, progressive lot. However, they vary in both approaches and "personalities", such that you will want to screen them for fit. Those coaches who are more "spiritual" in nature might turn an individual off if the individual doesn't relate to it or if he/she thinks the approach is non-effective (though it usually is). Some people might reject coaching because they believe it will demand too much of them or "make them" go after goals, so enthusiastic "go-getter" type coaches may cause fear of being pushed too much. But a good coach will know when to let up and how to let you know how to pace yourself properly.
I tend to favor those coaches who have at least two years of life coaching experience plus a certification from some life coaching school. A business person turned coach, I believe, is what would work for those in business and/or people who are achievers. A psychologist turned coach, as long as they aren't too "spiritual" or "emotion-based" (as we'd go directly to a psychologist for that) - such a person would have more insights and practical knowledge besides knowing the process of coaching.
However, coaching is not the same as consulting, as it is primarily a process of asking questions, helping with decisions, giving feedback, cheerleading, providing "accountability" (one of the key most effective principles).
I liked this explanation from a very experienced coach of how she works: "The foundation of my coaching is that the answers are within each one of us. My role as a coach is to ask the empowering questions to help you gain clarity, set a clear direction and/or goals for yourself."
COACHING AS A GROUP
Although one on one coaching is the most productive, being coached as a group is productive also.
It's especially good when one has an individual coach, but does supplemental learning via the group meeting or call.
For very successful businessmen, I found the quarterly meetings with all my compatriots present in Chicago to be very effective as they taught us all the same basic ideas but corrected us individually or added input based on our individual questions/problems. I would highly recommend the services and the materials avaliable through The Strategic Coach.
Life training seminars at Landmark Education were also excellent.
AN ALTERNATIVE: HOW TO PARTNER WITH A NON-COACH INDIVIDUAL, BUT AS COACHES TO EACH OTHER
A variation on this theme is partnering during a seminar to get the most out of it by having a small subgroup. See Small Groups coaching each other.
ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE: ON-LINE "COACHING"
Coach Steele's free ToolsToLife 90 day coaching takes one, daily, through various life lessons and applications in life in a brilliantly conceived format with an ingenious tool box. I would recommend this to anyone, at any level in life. It's important to stick with it for a few days to appreciate how it "builds". Once you start the build, it progresses forth in a life changing manner that is practical and very "doable". Each day takes 15 to 30 minutes.
THE ECONOMICS OF HAVING A COACH
If you're in business, the increase in profitability in your business will ordinarily offset all of the costs of coaching, though the improvement in lifestyle enjoyment is priceless.
Hourly fees range from $150 to $450 usually. Most engagements are on a monthly basis for weekly meetings from 15 to 60 minutes at a fee of $400 to $1,000. A good coach uses that time very effectively.
RESOURCES
Explanation and discussions about coaching
wikipedia.org - Search for Life Coaching
To find graduates of certification programs in your area:
academyforcoachingexcellence.com
Central "finding" resources:
findyourcoach.com - Looks qualified.
lifecoach.com
Recommended and tested coaches:
Marlys Thompson - Although she does comprehensive life coaching, she works only with those who can also measure the progress at work, so there are proven statistical results besides gaining more personal happiness and balance. (Sacramento, California, with clients all over the US.)
Carolyn Ingram - Recommended by another coach who is coached by Carolyn. Her background as a psychologist is a great plus - helpfull in spotting things to work on or to bring in to produce greater effectiveness.
The Strategic Coach organization
Robbins Coaching - Part of Anthony Robbins organization.
Jack Canfield Coaching Organization - Although it uses the Law Of Attraction, it is practical and non-woowoo in its implementation.
SMALL GROUPS CROSS-COACHING IN A SEMINAR/WORKSHOP:
What to say and do:
Daily Questions Process - Used in this case with a "buddy" system, these questions keep you
on track and accountable. By Marshall Goldsmith (at MarshalGoldsmith.com)
Worksheet format for questions - Use this to track your asking of the questions.
Other items used for groups:
Accountability Summary - Group/Partnership Transformation Conversation - Whether in a larger group or in a two person group, this presents a diagram for an effective conversation to keep for reference, plus a couple of pages to clarify and define.
The items below were used to derive the simplified (yet expanded) version above:
Our "Potential" Commitment To Each Other - See if you want to commit to doing this "group" more effectively benefitting each other.
Seminar Group Meeting Checklist - To make sure we are on point and effective.
Group Meeting Rating - Accountability summary for how the group did for each other.
Individual Member Checklist - Helps each member make sure they were (and will be) on point.
RELATED
COACHABILITY
Some people are just uncoachable. Save their time and yours by identifying them earlier.
The Football Player And The Coach - A Metaphor For Creating A Great Life - A person needs to decide which version of player he/she is going to be in the coaching process.
FOR THE "COACHEE"
It would greatly benefit you if you made the critical decision not to be a Life Dilettante.
