tba
CONTENTS
Always there
So what?
A problem? Really?
Criteria? Impact?
Adjustability!
The list and the impact rating
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ALWAYS THERE
We always have gaps in our lives, between where we are and where we want to be, between what we hav and what we would prefer to have or have had.
Gaps are a huge potential source of stress - tension, holding our bodies at the ready until we close the gap. We want to close gaps, because we are then "settled" and can rest.
However, we will never close all the gaps, so why bother with the unnecessary tension?
SO WHAT?
"Oh, there's a gap. That's ok. It gives me an alternative to do, if I so choose. I have gaps and that is ok. Unless one is a big one, then I need not go into supermode or high action mode. Actually, I needn't go into any tension mode, unless it is for a short term emergency that requires ultimate levels of effort and quickness. I am cool. I am calm. I'll get to them if I want to."
Someone dies. We are left with a gap.
One's investments decline. We are left with a gap.
One is not as proficient as he wants to be. He is left with a gap.
A gap is most often a "so what?!" if we see it clearly and don't collapse the gaps all into one horrendous pile and then stress about doing it all at once by collapsing all future time into a short period.
A PROBLEM? REALLY?
A "problem" is often something we add a connotation of negative to. Yes it is a missing, a gap between what we want and what is so, to be closed - maybe. All gaps do not have to be closed. So, they aren't really a problem.
I think we should drop the use of problem until it really fits and just use in our conversation, instead, "gap".
CRITERIA? IMPACT?
We need to close only the significant gaps that affect our survival. The rest are optional, all part of a game. I might want to enjoy something else in life that gives me more benefit than closing a gap, so I can choose to not close a gap.
A ridiculous extreme might be focussing on closing the gap between your current piano playing and being able to play at Cargegie Hall. Does it matter?
The point is that there is a spectrum of impact across which we must discriminate and spread our classifications of the gaps. You'll find most are real small in impact, so they need not get closed at all. Some are medium, but not crucial, so you'd fit those in after the big ones, but they don't have to be solved.
And there are very, very few high impact gaps at the higher end of the spectrum. There are sometimes zero, in fact. There are zero most often, if we see the high impact ones as only those that threaten existence (survival).
ADJUSTABILITY!
There are also "gaps" that can be adjusted as far as impact. For instance, if one closes the gap on not getting enough approval, one might go the most efficient, smartest route and learn that approval is not a 10 in impact, and ratchet it down to maybe a 0.2 rating on a scale of 0 to 100.
Basically, this is similar to the true concept of Richard Carlson's "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff - And It's All Small Stuff." The key lies in doing the thinking necessary to look and see what is actually small - and then we see that there is little to worry about. It's similar to the discussion at "How Big Is The Problem? How Big Is The Danger, Really?". If we really think about the reality and the size of dangers, we end up with very few to fear and stress over - zero most of the time and sometimes with some minor dangers.
THE LIST AND THE IMPACT RATING
The list of possibles and there impact rating (just started here, for this draft):
Gap Impact
Highest - 0 100
The vast empty space, lacking high impact
Write a book that significantly contributes to others 15
Decorating my home, so it is really sharp 10
Being sharp so I can get people's approval. 10 (adjustable!)
Almost all the items on my to do list .1
Buy a desk fan so a bit more comfortable
