HOW TO GAIN MUCH MORE CONTROL OF RESULTS
ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF!
"I tried to have it all, including getting by with lax control, but life this way had alot of ups and downs for me, with alot of waste. I thought control was 'hard', but I had some very wrong ideas [beliefs] about that, acquired who knows where. Now I see that it is the key - and that it is by far the best way to get what I want - and I see that it is the easier way ultimately, in total."
_____________________________________________________________
WHY AND HOW TO GAIN CONTROL?
For what: To get specified results in life
Principle: Determine what works, rules
Train self to follow the rules (as if training a child)
Follow standard patterns --> Create desirable habits
(Following these principles does, indeed, increase one's ability to control.)
Discover: What to do (via using role models, mentors, coaches, reading, research)
Emotional - Manage emotional ups and downs and distractions
(When you have good energy and good emotions, control is just plain easier!)
Direct it: "A straight line is the shortest distance between two points."
Life is for "getting" what you want. Being clear on what you actually want is, of course, paramount. Otherwise, you will spend your life climbing a ladder leaning against the wrong wall.
In order to get what you want, you need to expend energy, which, of course, suggests that it would be helpful to have plentiful energy.
And it would make sense to direct the energy toward what you want, rather than let it spew all over, like a loose firehose. If we channel that energy toward what we want, we will surely get it.
Of course, if there are things in the way (obstacles) and/or things that bog us down or cause friction, we should eliminate them. Almost all obstacles are not real and the few that are can be handled when we direct our energy well.
Energy --> Obstacles --> Controlled, --> Get What Want
Directed
(Create, (Remove, (Only what (Be sure it is correct)
not waste) Minimize) pays off)
OBSTACLES
Correct misbeliefs, misconceptions, misperceptions - The window through which we see life and its pieces. Correct it directly, quickly (soon), urgently! We can't waste a second more of life!
Incorrect limiting beliefs
Infeasible expectations
Not seeing what is important, believing wrongly
Losing control - anything that gets in the way of focused attention and positive energy, such as stress due to concern about desired outcome.
Lack of proper priorities - Displacing energy toward what is most important; what is useless or of low use? Answer, then eliminate...
Make decisions from the Executive position (in a high state of resourcefulness).
WHAT TO CONTROL
Energy
Time
Learning
Decisions
ARGUMENTS FOR AND AGAINST
For: Satisfaction and fulfillment will be achieved at a very high level
A sense of control is a key item in feeling peace of mind and happiness
Lack of a sense of control is a key to feeling unhappy
Opposition: It's too hard - Pacing in a groove is not hard, just a "doing"
It's uncomfortable I will lose all the fun, I'm sacrificing something (a false belief based on a vagueness - we actually are not losing what we need...
HOW TO APPROACH AND DO IT
1. Write out clearly what is actually wanted, must haves for life to be good,
differentiating between "in order tos" and what is actually wanted
List separately also: dreams, wants, rewards - as something to play with in the
game, but not as the must haves
Know the difference between the two
2.
What you want
What everyone actually wants is deep enduring happiness, living a life where one is fulfilled and feels satisfaction. (But we do all sorts of screwy things that we think will get us there, but won't.)
What helps get you there In order tos What is really wanted
Learning Wisdom, knowledge A sense of control, mastery over
Thinking, deciding (Philosophy) life
A sense of contribution, purpose, goodness
Live according to my values, including being the person I want
to be
Manage the machine Good health, energy Feel good physically, alive
Appreciation for what is there
Good feelings about life, self
Sufficient safety, food, shelter, lack
of fear
These lead to deep enduring happiness
Lack of feeling one can handle survival leads to fear, worry, dysfunctional practices that do not solve fear,
