This is it! Just glance at these and then follow the discussion and the paths to solving all the chronic problems (after this the "situations" to solve will be minor and no big deal, as the overall power and good feelings will be present virtually all the time.
It's nothing you don't know, but our intent here is to focus on what matters and then make it work in order to get what we want in life: happiness and satisfaction (not perfection).
THE KEY PROBLEMS AND THEIR EFFECTS
THE PROBLEM THE EFFECTS
Negative, dysfunctional beliefs Stress, health effects
Negative feelings (valence) and quality of life
Doing what doesn't work & habits Circumstantial problems, going in circles, time taken
Not "enough" time Harried, pressured, etc., not get to what want most
THE KEY PROBLEMS AND THEIR SOLUTIONS
THE PROBLEM THE TOP SOLUTIONS TO DO
BEFORE ANY OTHERS
Negative, dysfunctional beliefs Change incorrect beliefs and philosophy
(Learn, solve lack of knowledge and wisdom)
Exercise, relax, meditate, thought disciplines
Look at what is "good"
Doing what doesn't work & habits Decide habits, build, implement "system"
(Learn, solve lack of knowledge and wisdom)
Not "enough" time Set aside time for "self", pace self so no stress
Prioritize, insert only most important
Learn mechanics: to do mgmt, planning, scheduling
To make all this work, you MUST (as in "no other reasonable choice") do these two items.
THE KEY INSERTION THE KEY ACTION
Create a new future that you want Plan it
YOUR JOB IS...
Follow the paths. (I've set up some paths for you.)
Do "the work"(invest the effort to harvest, close "the gap")
The above schematic is a diagram of "the obvious". Nonetheless few people follow it. Much of the planning has been done for you, so you just need to insert the paths I've set up (or modify them) into your plans and then schedule time for them.
Early life is a process of building sufficient operational capability to live a functional, happy life. We simply stop before we have built a fully functional system. Period.
The signs are obvious: any time you feel stressed or feel bad. That's from mismanagment of time and of "programs". Bad results always come from bad causes. See a bad result, then you'll know there is a bad cause. (Duh!)
Any of these are signs, no matter how great you think you are doing: Overweight (BMI of 25+), blood pressure high, tired or low energy, "no time"...
My objective is to help you follow a path that works AND to complete what is more than sufficient to live a great life.
WHEN DO YOU REACH "THE LEVEL"?
The answer to when have you learned enough for Level I? When you no longer feel stressed (not highly anyway) and when you feel good most of the time. Before that, you haven't even reached Level I and you should not be issued a Life Driving License. You're too dangerous for yourself and others. Learn quickly and deeply, until signed off on all of the basic achievements of Level I.
All driving licenses (called "certifications" here) are, unfortunately to some, based on a test and at least a certain minimum of course work. We can certify that you did the course work, which is, of course, key. But ultimately we need to certify that you are seaworthy for all storms and for regular cruising.
IS THERE ENOUGH TIME TO "LEARN" LIFE?
Actually how can there not be time to "learn life"? It is the top priority.
There is more than enough time to learn life very well, at a deep enough level to be highly functional and happy.
Your spare time per year is between 1000 hours and 1650 or more. If you don't meet the minimum, then we've got to have the 80/20 Living discussion because things are not quite right in your work world if you are spending too much time and believe time spent is equivalent to productivity and results. See Not Enough Time - Really?.
FOR PROPER FLIGHT, ALL PARTS OF THE JET MUST BE WORKING
When you can check these all of at an "A" level, you will have completed the overall objective. When you can check these all off at a "B" level or higher, then you have reached the critical point of harvesting life at a good and appropriate level. A is "fully functioning at the desired levels to live a full, happy life." B is "doing a 'good' job at managing life and usually feeling good about self, life, and the world."
___ Feel happy overall, well satisfied with life
___ Living life as you want to
___ Create by intent, not run by feelings
___ Mind is well-managed
___ Fearless (you know you can handle life and undesired outcomes to produce
happiness; we are not talking about eliminating the mechanical functioning of
the body's and primitive mind's alert system - just getting rid of the fear illusion
connected to it)
___ Confident, esteem self highly, appreciate self
___ Do not need approval from others (it's just a "nice bonus")
___ Not at all critical of self or of others and the world; accept people
___ No blame, no gossip, no resentment
___ Have created a future that is inviting and/or compelling (what I really want)
___ Have created habits that work in life, eliminated all truly harmful habits
___ Physically in excellent shape (as far as what you can do about it) with very
___ Loving oneself: Great "self-care", activities, soothing and encouraging self.
The Means (Grade the degree to which these are functioning and implemented.)
___ Strong positive philosophy of life, fully corrected belief system
___ Time management: prioritization, scheduling, planning: don't feel rushed or
stressed AND feel "full" and satisfied
___ Basic skills handled to function in the outside world, having help where needed
___ Career (job matched to strengths, aptitudes, interests
___ Relationship, basic skills
___ Basic skills for managing life
___ Authentic learning
___ Rational, logical thinking based on adequate information
___ Problem solving capability (and decision-making)
___ Resource utilization, use others to cut learning curve, delegate to get results,
NOW, THE MISSION IS, SHOULD YOU ACCEPT IT...
Now it is time to make a decision where you cut off having anything less than full aliveness and happiness in life. The decision to stop doing what doesn't work is a vital decision. We need to be fully committed. Otherwise, the brain of the uninformed comes in and diverts one into "comfort" and away from progress (the irony being that as one progresses in knowledge and wisdom one has vastly less discomfort and much greater comfort and satisfaction!!!!).
Yes, it does take work. 500 or so hours for learning the basics, 1,000 + hours for getting to where you are spending your life so well that you are very happy, effective, and satisfied - so you can live 116,800 hours of life well (20 years) or 175,200 hours (30 years) (double those for 40 years and 60 years results). (I left out sleep time, but sleep is also a time for happiness, with right thinking. It can be enjoyable, with great dreams and made up internal movies - and without the worries or stress of life interfering!)
THE CHOICE AND THE COMMITMENT
Copy and paste this into a word document and give the results to your coach. (If you're not sufficiently committed to do this, then you stand no chance of creating a great life in a relatively short period.)
___ I think I'll just be a dilettante about this.
___ I'll just do a "20%" or so effort and things will somehow work out.
___ I'll commit to following a program for (note that you can choose a lower
number and then commit to more afterward, but a full commitment now
indicates you are "owning" the creation process for a great life)
___ 50 hours
___ 100 hours
___ 200 hours
___ 500 hours
___ 1000+ hours
___ whatever it takes to reach
___ B level
___ A level
___ Accordingly, I will commit this number of hours per week, plus some additional
immersion, focus, "do-only-this for a period of time", where a day to several are
largely devoted to just this
___ 1 hour (forget it, you're not really committed to making real progress
___ 5 hours
___ 10 hours
___ 15 hours
Signed and committed to this ____ day of _______________, ______