WHAT TO DO WHEN...IN THE MOMENT
A FEELING, CONCERN, SITUATION, OR "?" OCCURS
This page is primarily for short term remedies, in the moment. But do, as soon as possible, work on the longer term remedies to cure the cause, so the imbalances no longer are repeated. See discussion, below, after you've "restablilized".
Stop! Do not do your (costly) escape routine or seeking "energy" the wrong way! Do not follow your impulses without thinking. Use the right ways below.
For your major and/or recurring problems and emotions, you must engage in curing the causes. You can only do that when you are in complete recovery and rest and your higher brain is alert and attentive - that is the only time to do the thinking and then the decision making. You will use primarily the Problem Solving Process and The Belief Upgrading Process.
You should memorize the simple basic pausing, calming process and/or energizing process. Note that movement and exercise have positive effects on all emotionally undesirable condition, as they cause "positive feeling" chemicals.
Overarousal occurs mostly from various forms of fear, such as anger, anxiety, stress, and emotional upset in general. It shuts off the higher functions of the brain in order to prepare for the fight/flight response, not to mention the other "non-necessary-in-the-moment functions (such as digestion, the immune system, repairs...). Rest and recovery time is essential for one to be able to avoid overarousal that is not necessary except for a true threat. Inappropriate fear (95+% at least of fears) can only be corrected by correcting the underlying beliefs that have us "seeing" threats that are not really there and/or are vastly exaggerated.
Neither overarousal nor underarousal should be tolerated for we must keep the body and mind in a balance homeostatic state for it to function well and not incure damage.
If you are having more than a very few imbalances in emotions, then you definitely must go back and learn more about emotions and go through the whole program, which is designed for effectiveness and efficiency: The Program For Learning And Mastering Emotional Management - The Most Vital Of All!
"Underarousal" includes low energy, feeling down or depressed, or tired. Though the above program is designed to cure the immediate condition, you must follow the whole program for eliminating them in the long term if they occur any more than very infrequently. This will involve big changes in nutrition as well as exercise, but you must follow the recommendations, as it is not acceptable to repeat underarousal at all often in life.
In correcting the causes, we find that it is necessary to vastly overhaul the time management systems and strategies, to the point where stress and too much busyness are eliminated.
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Kept as reference only, for me, as it had elements before simplifying the page:
INSTANT REFERENCE (See also Medium/longer Term What To Do When...Ongoing
for medium or long term repeated items.)
INSTRUCTIONS: Go to topic on this page, find the specific item fairly easily, takes about a few seconds but you'll be able to handle whatever it is systematically rather than haphazardly! To connect to the topic if not linked, enter it into the search engine!
Since many people find that they don't know what to do (as they don't study things before the need crops up) and only react to a need and/or they simply don't remember, this is provided as an instant reference so you can react to the current need or concern, knowledgeably, systematically and wisely! However, I recommend you follow the related program/plan/sequence to develop a long term capability: Programs.
First: Use The Core "In The Moment" Master Strategies! See the sidebar!
Then, and only then, go to the specific items.
STATES, MODES OF OPERATING
Key strategy: Take "Time Outs"
To get out of a state of... (see also Emotions)
Low willpower
Hungry (eat protein, asap; water, nap)
Tempted (Impulse Control)
To get into a state...
For creative thinking
For critical thinking for good decisions, etc.
MY BELIEFS ARE UNFAVORABLE
(and need to be corrected)
Confidence low
Criticizing self
Self esteem low (Relates to confidence,
criticizing self)
UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES,
Correcting
Physical
Back hurts
Health problem, overall
Specific ones: Smoking,
Heart, circulatory problem
Neck hurts
Nutrition problem
Weight problem
GETTING THINGS DONE (See behaviors.)
(Use the search engine to link into those items not linked!)
[Set this up later: Time Planning Questions, Day - Questions and guides for the day and/or situation during the day.]
HANDLE EMOTION/MOOD
(You can link into a specific emotion from the large list of links on the right side of Emotion Management Contents/Links page. First, know that emotions are merely chemical reactions that can be out of range, into uncomfortable feelings.
OVERAROUSAL - Strategy: Immediately lower the arousal level to an "effectiveness" level. - Core strategies: Pause, time outs, slow deep breathing, lots of H2O...
Angry (Irritated, resentful, impatient with)
Anxious (Hurried, panic) Confused - Relates also to overwhelmed.
Critical of self
Frantic
Hurried, rushed, collapsing time into the now
Panic (Also relates to anxious, of course)
Pressure
Rejected
Rushed - See hurried, overwhelmed
Stressed (Stress Coping Strategies)
Upset about something
Worried
Bored* (See * reference below.)
Disappointed
Discouraged (or not inspired, not motivated)
Distraction needed - See "bored" or anxious
Down or depressed (Unhappy, anxious)
Energy low (or lazy, avoidant, lethargic)
Sad (Includes grieving)
Tired
Unhappy (Relates to feeling down)
NEED A RESULT OR DECISION
Decisions - Never make another wrong
decision
On specific ones: Relationship decisions
Problem - Solve it systematically, correctly
Success/Results, Checklist/Process for
BEHAVIORS
Attention control - Lack of paying attention or
of concentration
Distractions
Disorganized (= confusion, criticize self)
Impulsivity (Impulse Control)
*Google on internet "what to do when..." and
insert the operant word - you'll be amazed at
how good some of the answers are..
GET LINKS
TO THESE ITEMS
QUICKLY SOLVING
"IN THE MOMENT" CORE MASTER STRATEGIES
The "always"use master pause:
Stop
Breathe until "settled"
Think
Never use sugars, alcohol or other destabilizers,''
Avoid diversions and go directly to the cure.
GET CENTERED, SETTLED
Pause (engages brain)
Time Outs - To regain
"composure"
Arms raised high, deep Breathe slowly, deeply (15 to 60 seconds)
Drink water (full glass at least)
ENERGY LOW OR HUNGRY
ASAP
Eat protein, small
carbohydrate,
Lots of water,
Nap 1 min to 120 min...
Move (Energize)
Always write out what is happening during any negative: internal conversation plus external happenings!
Refute the negative statements, say opposite even if don't believe it!
Schedule a time to solve a problem that needs attention or to process and correct a negative belief. .
MANAGE YOUR CHEMICALS!
SOLVE THE CAUSE TO ELIMINATE THE RECURRENCES!!!!!
To stop handling the recurring problems (symptoms!), cure the cause by completely handling it.
Use the learning programs and the various forms for solving particular issues or problems (linked from the learning program or under the contents/links directory for the subject area).
A PROBLEM JUST OCCURING
For A Problem That Has Just Occurred - To Handle A Currently Occurring Problem - Addressing The Problem Right Now, In The Moment! - Links also into the longer term The Problem Solving Process, so you can eliminate them!
FIX AN "OFF" MOOD,
(Bored, listless, unmotivated, etc.: Moods)
Key practices:
The Pause and
The Time Out Tool - Key, key, key! See
the substrategies that make a big
difference!
Inspiration, read the treasure trove, watch
the inspiring videos, use your Reminders Notebook.
Just fill mind with good stuff - No "TV", free, Philosopher's Notes summaries and
videos - Good!
Schedule a Theme Day - A very satisfying practice; schedule one soon and you'll feel better now. Could even devote a whole or 1/2 day to solving a problem or resolving an issue.
SOLVE FEELING OF DISTRESS: Key strategy: Do opposite of what comprises being distressed. So, first, we "un-distress": Stop (time out!), three deep breaths, scan body for tension (notice and/or let go), optional: immediately tell yourself an opposite, healthy belief/statement. Ask "Is this lasting and big?", "What shall I do now?" If able, get out your "Right Now Affirmations" Sheet. (This is a sheet you prepare ahead of time, for instant use.
Later, or right after, do ABCDEF Rational Analysis to "solve", and to not have to repeat, the problem over and over.
Always, as soon as possible, plan something good for yourself to do.
OTHER INSTANT REFERENCE
This box: Being separated out into medium and long term references re problems, concerns, and emotions.
KEY PRACTICES
The Pause and
The Time Out Tool - Key, key, key! See
the substrategies that make a big
difference!
EMOTIONAL EFFECTORS
(Make you more susceptible and less stable)
Tired - Rest, H2O, movement
CURRENT EMOTIONAL STATE
All: Return/recover to homeostasis
Being "Down" (see "moods", below)
ALL EMOTIONAL CONCERNS OVERALL
We seek relief from any unpleasant emotion.
1. First, correct the emotional state to the point of "basic calm".
2. Then address the emotion as needed!
OVERAROUSAL
Strategy: Immediately lower the arousal level to an "effectiveness" level.
Core strategies: Pause, time outs, slow deep breathing, lots of H2O, balanced snack...
Never use destabilizing sugar or alcohol, go directly to "recovery".
UNDERAROUSAL
Strategy: Immediately raise your arousal level to an "effectiveness" level, via physical and mental mechanisms. Raise arms overhead, deep breathing
(Underarousal is from a body, mind shut down for a "reason". See and cure the causes by addressing the specific emotion at a later time when you are "stabilized".)
SPECIFIC EMOTIONS DIRECTORY
Click Emotions, see right side
